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crack_van2005-07-08 12:15 am
norabombay.livejournal.com) wrote in crack_van2005-07-08 12:15 am
Walk Like a Camelidae (PG) Popslash
Walk Like a Camelidae (PG)
POPSLASH
Pairing: Lance/Joey. Feel the JoLa!
Author on LJ:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
pop_tarts
Author Website: http://www.doyourthing.org/lise/nsane/index.htm
Why this must be read: Because the Story where Lance Turns into A Camel? One of the most famous and funniest in the fandom. Trust me, it’s worth it.
Still on the theme of personal transformation. This is not subtle. This isn’t logical. This is just the pure cracked out glory that is PopSlash.
One day Lance Bass wakes up a Llama. It’s an object lesson on why pop musicians pay their PR people a lot of money. And how the PR people earn every penny. It’s also a nice look about how friendships don’t always change just because the species does.
Plus? Completely gratatuitious abuse of Carson Daly.
An excerpt:
They went over to inspect the accommodations, because as Chris said, "this is a celebrity llama. Has to be the best."
Chris and JC found Lance standing in the sauna, happily sucking down a Mai Tai from a bucket. Chris eyed Lance. JC raised an eyebrow, then made a kind of 'oh well' face, or possibly a 'so cute!' face. It was hard to tell with JC.
Chris was staring at Lance thoughtfully. He said, "Think we could get him a saddle?"
Lance was smaller and lighter than most llamas, Nathan had told them, because he was still Lance's weight, rather than normal llama weight. But he still looked like he was probably big enough for a little person to ride.
Lance stamped one foot down, and it made a nice clopping sound, interrupting the soothing steam coming from his hotrocks.
JC giggled, sitting down in the warm air. "Remember when you tried to make Lance give you a piggy back ride in Koln that one time?"
"Sure. He almost broke my head on the table when he threw me off."
"Chris," JC said patiently, "this llama has hooves."
It wasn't quite accurate, because Lance waved a back leg around, threatening Chris with his padded toes -- or at least tried to while he had a huge straw in his mouth. JC cooed. Chris got the idea, though, and stopped wondering if the llama would stay still long enough for him to put on a bridle.
Lance Bass has spent his hiatus engaging in more acts of public humiliation than your average boyband member.
First, in honor of the story, a llama. Admittedly, not a Celebrity llama. But a llama.
Lance did not actually get to go to space. He skulked back to the US. I feel bad. Because it's clear that he really did want to go. And you can occasionally catch him science geeking and promoting space flight.
Not being on Mir, he proceeded to spend the next year drunk, in public, with a number of attractive men, who were badly cropped out of photos. First, a picture of Lance, and Jesse, his now ex-boyfriend good friend. Or personal assistant. Or whatever. Jesse was around long enough to find his way into all sorts of fic.
Secondly, Lance as he spent much of 2003 and 2004: Drunk. Or high. Or both. Please note he managed to attend Britney Spears first wedding, Nicky Hilton’s first wedding, and um, every ill advised drunken young celeb wedding in the last few years. To use a very stolen expression, it’s his "Flaming Gay Lizard" look.
And for the hat trick: Drunk, with a shirtless Jesse, managing to be in the background of a picture of somebody else. (In this case: Joey!). This is from Challenge for the Children, an annual N'Sync Charity event.
And finally, a happy picture. Lance, his new nose, and Joey Fatone, in the Tommy Hilfinger show last year. Just because you are famous? Doesn’t mean you aren't a dork. But they look so happy!
I'm glad he's not a llama. He will get his chance to shine before the end of the month.
Walk Like a Camilidae
POPSLASH
Pairing: Lance/Joey. Feel the JoLa!
Author on LJ:
pop_tartsAuthor Website: http://www.doyourthing.org/lise/nsane/index.htm
Why this must be read: Because the Story where Lance Turns into A Camel? One of the most famous and funniest in the fandom. Trust me, it’s worth it.
Still on the theme of personal transformation. This is not subtle. This isn’t logical. This is just the pure cracked out glory that is PopSlash.
One day Lance Bass wakes up a Llama. It’s an object lesson on why pop musicians pay their PR people a lot of money. And how the PR people earn every penny. It’s also a nice look about how friendships don’t always change just because the species does.
Plus? Completely gratatuitious abuse of Carson Daly.
An excerpt:
They went over to inspect the accommodations, because as Chris said, "this is a celebrity llama. Has to be the best."
Chris and JC found Lance standing in the sauna, happily sucking down a Mai Tai from a bucket. Chris eyed Lance. JC raised an eyebrow, then made a kind of 'oh well' face, or possibly a 'so cute!' face. It was hard to tell with JC.
Chris was staring at Lance thoughtfully. He said, "Think we could get him a saddle?"
Lance was smaller and lighter than most llamas, Nathan had told them, because he was still Lance's weight, rather than normal llama weight. But he still looked like he was probably big enough for a little person to ride.
Lance stamped one foot down, and it made a nice clopping sound, interrupting the soothing steam coming from his hotrocks.
JC giggled, sitting down in the warm air. "Remember when you tried to make Lance give you a piggy back ride in Koln that one time?"
"Sure. He almost broke my head on the table when he threw me off."
"Chris," JC said patiently, "this llama has hooves."
It wasn't quite accurate, because Lance waved a back leg around, threatening Chris with his padded toes -- or at least tried to while he had a huge straw in his mouth. JC cooed. Chris got the idea, though, and stopped wondering if the llama would stay still long enough for him to put on a bridle.
Lance Bass has spent his hiatus engaging in more acts of public humiliation than your average boyband member.
First, in honor of the story, a llama. Admittedly, not a Celebrity llama. But a llama.
Lance did not actually get to go to space. He skulked back to the US. I feel bad. Because it's clear that he really did want to go. And you can occasionally catch him science geeking and promoting space flight.
Not being on Mir, he proceeded to spend the next year drunk, in public, with a number of attractive men, who were badly cropped out of photos. First, a picture of Lance, and Jesse, his
Secondly, Lance as he spent much of 2003 and 2004: Drunk. Or high. Or both. Please note he managed to attend Britney Spears first wedding, Nicky Hilton’s first wedding, and um, every ill advised drunken young celeb wedding in the last few years. To use a very stolen expression, it’s his "Flaming Gay Lizard" look.
And for the hat trick: Drunk, with a shirtless Jesse, managing to be in the background of a picture of somebody else. (In this case: Joey!). This is from Challenge for the Children, an annual N'Sync Charity event.
And finally, a happy picture. Lance, his new nose, and Joey Fatone, in the Tommy Hilfinger show last year. Just because you are famous? Doesn’t mean you aren't a dork. But they look so happy!
I'm glad he's not a llama. He will get his chance to shine before the end of the month.
Walk Like a Camilidae