Conspiracy Theory by Therienne (PG)

[versaphile.livejournal.com]

Fandom: THE DEAD ZONE
Pairing: Johnny Smith/Bruce Lewis
Author on LJ: therienne
Author Website: Therienne's Fanfiction Corner
Why this must be read:

Conspiracy Theory is quite possibly the funniest Dead Zone story I've read yet. Johnny comes back from three weeks in a secret government location only to find that everyone back home has been worried frantic for him. But Johnny can't tell them the truth about where he's been, so now it's time for him to pay, and pay, and pay. True to character, everyone has their own unique punishment--purely out of love, of course. Just watch Johnny squirm...

“Do you have any idea,” Bruce's voice had gone from pissed off to terrifyingly calm and reasonable, “how worried people were about you?”

“I left messages! I called the Faith Heritage Foundation and told Purdy’s people I’d be out of touch! And I put a message on my machine so people wouldn’t worry!” He was finding the coffee mug to be a poor replacement for his cane about now, and put his other hand back against the counter to prop himself up. What was left of his energy was rapidly spiraling the bowl. Remember not to panic. Wait, no. It's too late for that. Let's just get out of here. He took a deep breath and tried for a more placating approach. "Look, I didn’t mean to worry you, or anyone…"

“You took off without telling any of us, in person, where you were going. Or even that you were going.”

“…I really just thought, a little time away to myself...”

“You never picked up your voice mail. Or answered your cell phone.”

“…to get away from it all…”

“…it’s not like you’ve ever been kidnapped before, or anything, or we might have any reason to become concerned if you just suddenly vanish right off the face of the earth without a word to your best friend….”

“…and I really did think that, you know, the messages would be sufficient…”

Conspiracy Theory