crack_van | Blake's 7/Harry Potter (PG-13)

Fandom: BLAKE'S 7
Pairing: none
Author on LJ: executrix
Author Website: Executrix's Plotless Lagomorph Asylum
Why this must be read:

Like all of Executrix's stories, this is witty, vastly entertaining, and beautifully crafted.

When Ron Weasley's father brings home a muggle artifact called a television, Ron conjures up some help from it.

"This is Roj Blake," Ron said, indicating the tall, curly-haired man, clad in a rustic ensemble that, in a larger size, Hagrid might have coveted. "And Vila Restal. Everybody just calls him Vila."

"How the hell did you do that, Ron?" Hermione asked.

"Ah, well, academy for young wizards, spell, hello...."

"And why?"

"He's a Burly Rebel, isn't he? And we want to start a rebellion, don't we? All the grownups we know are fairly useless, but that doesn't mean that there aren't any useful grownups if you know where to look," Ron said.

"Really, Miss Granger," the big curly-haired man said, in a reassuring rumble (Hermione warmed to him at once) "We're constantly being haled into all sorts of places. Most of them chalkier and less attractive than this one. Young Ron told me a bit about your problems. We frequently answer distress signals, and we'll be glad to help you."

"I don't see what you can do. Not to put too fine a point on it, Mr. Blake, you're a fictional character." She wondered if the International Statute of Secrecy was limited to communications with entities that actually existed. She reminded herself to suggest that to Ron as a possible defense before the Wizenagemot.

"Now, if that isn't the pot calling the kettle black."

Harry shot him a worried look. If everybody, fictional or otherwise, knew about him, Sirius didn't stand a chance of staying hidden.

"I mean, when our archeologists uncover a pre-Atomic settlement, they can't move for copies of Harry Potter books, " Blake told her.

I don't see why they can't call them Ron Weasley books Ron and Vila thought simultaneously. Harry relaxed, with a little sigh.

"Cauldrons," Hermione said helpfully. "We call them cauldrons."

I could quote just about every sentence (like the one with Restal's Thestral Vestals), but that's one of the signs of an Executrix fic. This is a comic joy, with SorcerPreme Commander Servalan as the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, a guest appearance by Tarrant, a heist at Gringott's branch office in Hogsmeade, and a Warning for Avon.

There Won't be Trumpets (part 1)
There Won't be Trumpets (part 2)