ext_7640 ([identity profile] sine-que-non767.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] crack_van2006-05-30 10:40 pm

A Most Indecent Proposal by Peak in Darien (PG-13-ish)

Fandom: JEEVES & WOOSTER
Pairing: Jeeves/Bertie Wooster
Author on LJ: [livejournal.com profile] peak_in_darien
Author Website: fic in LJ memories
Why this must be read:

A stalwart member of [livejournal.com profile] indeedsir, Peak's fics are a highlight in the fandom. This one is particularly fun. Bertie has a heart-wrenching time parting with a beloved cummerbund. In an effort to keep it, he bargains with Jeeves, but is wholly unprepared for the terms that Jeeves will offer to him. A sequel, The Case of the Hat, is here.



“There isn’t anything else I could give you, is there? I mean to say, instead of the cummerbund? A gift of compensation, and all that rot?”



One corner of his mouth twitched upwards about a sixteenth. “It is most compassionate of you to offer, sir; but if I may take the liberty to say so, I can think of no socially acceptable compensation other than your disposal of the item in question.”



It has been said that we Woosters are not fêted for our dashing intellect – just ask my Aunt Agatha, she’ll give you the goods. But this time the old grey matter was in perfect shape. I had spotted the flaw in Jeeves’ argument. I had spotted the – what’s the word I’m after? Some kind of hole.



“Jeeves,” I said, and I don’t hesitate to mention that there was a little smugness in my countenance, “I have spotted the wormhole in your statement.”



“Loophole, sir.”



“Yes. And the loophole is this: you state that there are no other options that are ‘socially acceptable’?”



He gave a slight cough of agreement.



“Then it’s all oojah-cum-spiff. All you have do is tell me what socially unacceptable thing I have to do. I’m happy to yield to you what I may.


A Most Indecent Proposal