ext_7701 (![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
marag.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
crack_van2007-11-26 12:58 pm
marag.livejournal.com) wrote in crack_van2007-11-26 12:58 pm
Attachments by Jen in Japan (NC-17)
Fandom: DC COMICS
Pairing: Batman/Superman, as well as references to some other het and slash pairings
Author on LJ:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
jen_in_japan
Author Website: No website, just links in the sidebar of her LJ
Why this must be read:
Honestly, I think the best explanation for why this must be read is to give you Jen's summary of the fic: "The Justice League International (with Superman along for the ride) finds itself captured on a planet with a volcano that requires a sacrificial virgin."
How can you lose with a fic that involves virgin sacrifices and the wackiest crew of superheroes to ever protect the Earth? But don't worry, you don't have to know about the Justice League International to enjoy this fic, just get ready to learn more about the sex life of Fire and Green Lantern than you ever wanted to know ;)
This fic is hilarious and sexy and wonderful. It's a great introduction to what's known as the Giffen/DeMatteis era of the Justice League.
"Whoa, whoa!" Blue Beetle was thrown backwards into Booster Gold's arms as a tractor beam grabbed their space ship. Booster righted him hastily. Gibberish continued to spew from the ship's speakers.
"Beetle, why isn't your translator working?" snarled Batman as he struggled to keep the ship's keel even. It lurched again and Ice was catapulted into Guy Gardner, extricating herself hurriedly when Guy leered at her.
Ted Kord staggered to the front of the ship and started banging on various readouts. "It should be, Batman! This planet's language must be particularly obscure..."
"Lantern?"
Gardner checked his ring. "Nada, Bats. The force field must be yellow, it's blocking my access to the translating banks on Oa."
Superman was hovering a couple of inches off the floor, so the continuing juddering motions failed to shake his composure as he crossed his arms and looked annoyed. "It never goes well when I come along to assist you guys. Never."
"Thank you for the observation, Kal. Now would you--" Batman's suggestion was cut off as the voice finally began to speak English--more or less.
"With all due respect, sllzt ar ar that this ship has a krllt aboard. We repeat, our scans reveal that this ship has a krllt aboard. We're terribly sorry, but we require your krllt to mend the iirrj."
"You're going to have to do better than that, Beetle," Batman said as he opened the channel. Sweating, Ted continued to work feverishly on the console as Batman spoke. "This is the Justice League of Terra. We are not hostile. We are here to refuel on our way home, nothing more."
"Again, our apologies, but we need your krllt for the iirrj. You have only one on board. Very valuable." the alien voice sounded rather desperate.
"Beetle," hissed Batman, then turned back to the mike. "Could you explain what exactly a--a krllt and an iirrj are?"
Sounds of a hurried consultation. Blue Beetle finished adjusting the console, flashed Batman a thumbs-up sign, and went back to sit next to Booster Gold. The alien began speaking again. "A krllt is a--an adult who has never engaged in sexual activity with another sentient being."
"You mean a virgin?" blurted Booster Gold.
"Yes, yes, virgin. Our krlltometer indicates you have one on board."
Booster's mouth was agape. "You have a...virginometer?"
Attachments
Pairing: Batman/Superman, as well as references to some other het and slash pairings
Author on LJ:
jen_in_japanAuthor Website: No website, just links in the sidebar of her LJ
Why this must be read:
Honestly, I think the best explanation for why this must be read is to give you Jen's summary of the fic: "The Justice League International (with Superman along for the ride) finds itself captured on a planet with a volcano that requires a sacrificial virgin."
How can you lose with a fic that involves virgin sacrifices and the wackiest crew of superheroes to ever protect the Earth? But don't worry, you don't have to know about the Justice League International to enjoy this fic, just get ready to learn more about the sex life of Fire and Green Lantern than you ever wanted to know ;)
This fic is hilarious and sexy and wonderful. It's a great introduction to what's known as the Giffen/DeMatteis era of the Justice League.
"Whoa, whoa!" Blue Beetle was thrown backwards into Booster Gold's arms as a tractor beam grabbed their space ship. Booster righted him hastily. Gibberish continued to spew from the ship's speakers.
"Beetle, why isn't your translator working?" snarled Batman as he struggled to keep the ship's keel even. It lurched again and Ice was catapulted into Guy Gardner, extricating herself hurriedly when Guy leered at her.
Ted Kord staggered to the front of the ship and started banging on various readouts. "It should be, Batman! This planet's language must be particularly obscure..."
"Lantern?"
Gardner checked his ring. "Nada, Bats. The force field must be yellow, it's blocking my access to the translating banks on Oa."
Superman was hovering a couple of inches off the floor, so the continuing juddering motions failed to shake his composure as he crossed his arms and looked annoyed. "It never goes well when I come along to assist you guys. Never."
"Thank you for the observation, Kal. Now would you--" Batman's suggestion was cut off as the voice finally began to speak English--more or less.
"With all due respect, sllzt ar ar that this ship has a krllt aboard. We repeat, our scans reveal that this ship has a krllt aboard. We're terribly sorry, but we require your krllt to mend the iirrj."
"You're going to have to do better than that, Beetle," Batman said as he opened the channel. Sweating, Ted continued to work feverishly on the console as Batman spoke. "This is the Justice League of Terra. We are not hostile. We are here to refuel on our way home, nothing more."
"Again, our apologies, but we need your krllt for the iirrj. You have only one on board. Very valuable." the alien voice sounded rather desperate.
"Beetle," hissed Batman, then turned back to the mike. "Could you explain what exactly a--a krllt and an iirrj are?"
Sounds of a hurried consultation. Blue Beetle finished adjusting the console, flashed Batman a thumbs-up sign, and went back to sit next to Booster Gold. The alien began speaking again. "A krllt is a--an adult who has never engaged in sexual activity with another sentient being."
"You mean a virgin?" blurted Booster Gold.
"Yes, yes, virgin. Our krlltometer indicates you have one on board."
Booster's mouth was agape. "You have a...virginometer?"
Attachments