Absence of Madeline by Derien (R/NC-17)

[innocentsmith.livejournal.com]

Fandom: JEEVES & WOOSTER
Pairing: Jeeves/Bertie Wooster; Jeeves/Bertie/Gussie Fink-Nottle
Length: about 13,000 words
Author on LJ: derien
Author Website: Derien's Trivial Place
Why this must be read:

Because sometimes you want to read pr0n. Awesome, hilarious and meltingly hot pr0n. Featuring a prop so many writers joke about but so few actually deliver: a literal tie that binds.

Or wait, is that too shallow? Well, then, there's also the plot, which is both hysterically funny and one of the closest structural approximations to the usual canon story that exists in fanfic. To wit: Bertie's being amorously pursued by someone whose feelings he doesn't want to hurt, but thought was safely engaged to another, when all he really wants is to be left alone in domestic bliss with his gentleman's gentleman. Along the way, there are aunts, telegrams, and con artists, and finally all the pieces are back in place through the brilliant machinations of Jeeves. It's just that in this case, Bertie and Jeeves have an established (though new, and somewhat uncertain) relationship, and the third wheel is Gussie Fink-Nottle. Who's not quite as keen on getting back with Madeline as he might be, really. And doesn't have the least qualm about pouncing on both or either of our heroes, as a salve for his putatively broken heart.


I know that I have on many occasions mentioned that Jeeves has an uncanny ability to know just when I'm going to awaken, such that he can enter the door moments later with a tea-tray. This ability also allows him to know the moment before I will wake, so that he can already have silently entered, and set the tea-tray on the bedside table, then awaken my very gently with warm breath on my neck. If being woken is something that one must suffer, this is certainly the very best way, and I murmured, "Darling!" as I rolled to face him with a sleepy smile.

The corner of his mouth quirked with a certain satisfaction. He enjoyed being addressed with endearments, although his own personal sense of propriety made it hard for him to assign any to me beyond 'sir,' or 'Bertram' when he was feeling particularly carefree.

"I hate to wake you - " he began, before someone - Gussie, as it was very soon evident - knocked on the door, resoundingly.

"Bertie, are you up? Only I saw Jeeves just go in with the tea-tray, so I know you must be up. Jeeves? Let me in?"

Jeeves let out his breath and his eyes flicked in a way that indicated he might have been rolling them if he'd been anyone else. "Mr. Fink-Nottle has been up for hours, sir," he murmured, with the emphasis on 'hours' suggesting that he hadn't had a moment’s peace during that time. Jeeves's peaceful mornings are very important to him. He likes to putter around the house doing whatever it is valets do - shining the silver, I suppose, and musing on Deep Philosophies - as a rest from that trivial work of solving all the problems of the young master and his friends.

"Well." I blinked, blearily. "I suppose we'll have to let him in. Sorry, old duck. I'll try to take him off your hands."

I placed a hand on the back of his neck to pull him down into a kiss, but immediately upon his lips touching mine the pounding on the door renewed.


Absence of Madeline (Part One) (Part Two)