crack_van | Not by micehell (NC17)

Fandom: TOUR OF DUTY

Pairing: Lieutenant Myron Goldman/Lieutenant John J McKay

Length: 1271 words

Author on LJ:

Author Website: Notes from the Underground

Why this must be read:

When Myron Goldman lost his lover, Alex Devlin to a bicycle bomb in Saigon, it undid him in so many ways. He pushed everyone away, managed to get his best friend and sergeant, Zeke Anderson sent home, became unapproachable and closed himself off from anyone who cared about him.

Johnny's been deeply hurt by Alex's death as well. Unlike Goldman, he doesn't shut down, but instead does everything he can to reach his friend using the one thing they have between them- Alex's death.

This is a sad little story of Johnny again trying to reach out, trying to get Goldman to break out of his isolation and pain, only to fail even more miserably. This is a wonderful look at just how messed up Myron is, what he thinks he should feel and what he is afraid to face about himself, about his feelings for Zeke and his grief over Alex.

Excerpt:

Which McKay seemed to take as a challenge rather than a criticism, as he pressed in close, stroking a hand down Myron's face. "I miss her, too. Every day. But I'm still alive." He kept going, putting fingers over the automatic denial that was on Myron's lips. "You're not alive. You're not. You're marking time, and barely even that."

Not by micehell

Tags: fanfic, tour of duty