goddessdster (![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
goddessdster.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
crack_van2008-12-30 11:33 am
goddessdster.livejournal.com) wrote in crack_van2008-12-30 11:33 am
Lambs by Ann Larimer (PG)
To make up for the community-locked Andy/Andy I posted earlier, I bring one inspired by the first!
Fandom: Hot Fuzz
Pairing: Andy/Andy
Length: ~1300 words
Author on LJ:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
annlarimer
Author Website: Unknown
Why this must be read:
While it may lack the touching unrequited heartache, this story delivers the Andes at their bawdiest best as they egg each other on, puzzle over messages on candy hearts, and make fun of Nicholas and Danny. This is classic Ann Larimer - hilarity and subtlety wrapped in a red cellophane heart-shaped package.
"It's okay. Here." Wainwright offered Cartwright a paper bag.
"Whazzat?"
"Those crap chalk heart things. The Inspector took 'em off Butterman 'cause he and Doris were trying to make them into arrowheads."
"What, like...?" Cartwright mimed firing a tiny bow and arrow.
Wainwright mimed taking an arrow to the chest and dying. "Yeah."
"That boy's not right."
"I know! Everybody knows you're supposed to shoot 'em with a rubber band."
"Or a catapult." Cartwright took a heart from the bag and read it. "'FAX ME.' Fax me? Is that...?"
"I think it means actually fax, with a fax machine."
"Fuck, that's no fun. How're they supposed to be arrowheads? They're not even pointy!" He bit into FAX ME, making it crunch as loudly as he could. "Do girls like being faxed?"
"You never know, my son. You never know." Wainwright took one for himself. "TICKLE MONSTER," he read, and popped it into his mouth.
Cartwright nodded. "How'd you get 'em, then?" FAX ME started to fizz, pinkishly.
"Nicked 'em off Angle's desk when he wasn't looking."
"Hah!" Cartwright pretended to growl and foam, like a rabid dog.
Wainwright joined in, his own mouth foaming green. "With any luck, he'll think Fanny did it and..."
"Oooooo, lovers' tiff! And on Valentine's Day. I am proud to know you, sir."
They high-fived.
(Lambs)
Fandom: Hot Fuzz
Pairing: Andy/Andy
Length: ~1300 words
Author on LJ:
annlarimerAuthor Website: Unknown
Why this must be read:
While it may lack the touching unrequited heartache, this story delivers the Andes at their bawdiest best as they egg each other on, puzzle over messages on candy hearts, and make fun of Nicholas and Danny. This is classic Ann Larimer - hilarity and subtlety wrapped in a red cellophane heart-shaped package.
"It's okay. Here." Wainwright offered Cartwright a paper bag.
"Whazzat?"
"Those crap chalk heart things. The Inspector took 'em off Butterman 'cause he and Doris were trying to make them into arrowheads."
"What, like...?" Cartwright mimed firing a tiny bow and arrow.
Wainwright mimed taking an arrow to the chest and dying. "Yeah."
"That boy's not right."
"I know! Everybody knows you're supposed to shoot 'em with a rubber band."
"Or a catapult." Cartwright took a heart from the bag and read it. "'FAX ME.' Fax me? Is that...?"
"I think it means actually fax, with a fax machine."
"Fuck, that's no fun. How're they supposed to be arrowheads? They're not even pointy!" He bit into FAX ME, making it crunch as loudly as he could. "Do girls like being faxed?"
"You never know, my son. You never know." Wainwright took one for himself. "TICKLE MONSTER," he read, and popped it into his mouth.
Cartwright nodded. "How'd you get 'em, then?" FAX ME started to fizz, pinkishly.
"Nicked 'em off Angle's desk when he wasn't looking."
"Hah!" Cartwright pretended to growl and foam, like a rabid dog.
Wainwright joined in, his own mouth foaming green. "With any luck, he'll think Fanny did it and..."
"Oooooo, lovers' tiff! And on Valentine's Day. I am proud to know you, sir."
They high-fived.
(Lambs)