I have this nascent theory that when we write slash, we like to go back to the moment where homosocial shifts to homosexual, to the point where it all begins, because it meets a need somehow - of the endlessly deferred courtship, maybe, or of a repetition of the adolescent phase where we make "decisions" about identity, or perhaps even the moment we develop an ego identity [...].

Interesting theory. In a sort of related issue, I've heard speculation that fandoms themselves perhaps go in cycles. That is, it's perhaps commonplace for writers in a new fandom to want to explore first times, to speculate on how the specific characters in that world will make that move from homosocial to homosexual, so there's a burst of that type of story to start out with. Then, as the fandom ages and the cache of first-time stories grows large, writers--even new ones to the fandom--branch out into exploring other themes. I don't know if that holds any water or not, but it'd be cool to see a study along these lines.

For some reason, we really *love* those first times, and we keep writing them/reading them over and over to recreate the excitement and intensity. Before it all goes stale.

My personal favourite type of "first time" is stories in which one or both of them finally acknowledge that their relationship is more than just sex. That kind of emotional first time might take places years after the beginning of the sexual relationship, but it can be an even bigger step to take, at least for some characters, than becoming actively homosexual. In many of these stories, the decision about self-identity--how the character sees himself and how he deals with how he'll be viewed by others in admitting he's gay--happens at that moment when the character is able to admit to himself his own involvement.

Though, of course, there are also lots of stories in which the sexual and the emotional commitment happen together. :g: