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crack_van2009-07-09 10:58 pm
uselessmarks.livejournal.com) wrote in crack_van2009-07-09 10:58 pm
Entry tags:
Fighting the Good Fight by Temora [PG]
Fandom: Xena Warrior Princess
Pairing: Xena/Gabrielle, super-light Xena/Ares and super light Gabrielle/OC
Length: 6,525 words
Author LJ: n/a
Author Website: http://www.academyorbards.org/fanfic/t/temora
Why This Must Be Read:
Because it is the funniest thing ever written for the Xena-verse. Seriously.
The author does their own take of a regular day for Xena and Gabrielle, the warlord they encounter, the village they must save and every other cliched/repetitive thing that occurred on the show itself.
And it is so accurate in its snark, that you know this author absolutely loves Xena Warrior Princess like no other.
""That warlord won’t know what hit him. We’ll ride in and-" snarled the warrior, only to discover that Gabrielle was staring at her soulfully again. "Gabrielle, I wish you wouldn’t do that," she confessed. "It makes me nervous, like there’s something on my face."
"Oh, like you staring into the distance or at cave walls and the sides of tents and gods know what else is fun for me?" fumed the bard. "Do you know how often I have to talk to the back of your head?"
Xena ignored her and dug her heels into Argo’s sides, but only enough to make her jump and plunge around on the spot a bit, because she didn’t plan on leaving just yet. It just looked kind of warrior-ish.
Gabrielle watched wistfully. "I wish I could do that," she ventured sadly.
Xena took one hand off the reins. "Try it. You probably can."
The bard booted Horse hard, and found to her delight that indeed she could. "Look, Xena!" she cried triumphantly as Horse bucked and kicked and slewed around from one side of the track to the other. "New skills! New skills! That’s it, I’m shaving my head."
There was no answer.
"Xena? Xena, pay attention to me! Pay attention to me!"
"I can’t, Gabrielle, I have to look over here now." Xena was staring icily out across the suddenly rolling hills. "We’re going to make this scum wish he’d never been born. Yah!"
She kicked Argo to a gallop and rode off unerringly in the vaguely general direction of the village.
Gabrielle watched soulfully for a little while and then rode off after her, not quite as fast, not quite as well and not quite as prettily as Xena. "
Fighting the Good Fight by Temora
Pairing: Xena/Gabrielle, super-light Xena/Ares and super light Gabrielle/OC
Length: 6,525 words
Author LJ: n/a
Author Website: http://www.academyorbards.org/fanfic/t/temora
Why This Must Be Read:
Because it is the funniest thing ever written for the Xena-verse. Seriously.
The author does their own take of a regular day for Xena and Gabrielle, the warlord they encounter, the village they must save and every other cliched/repetitive thing that occurred on the show itself.
And it is so accurate in its snark, that you know this author absolutely loves Xena Warrior Princess like no other.
""That warlord won’t know what hit him. We’ll ride in and-" snarled the warrior, only to discover that Gabrielle was staring at her soulfully again. "Gabrielle, I wish you wouldn’t do that," she confessed. "It makes me nervous, like there’s something on my face."
"Oh, like you staring into the distance or at cave walls and the sides of tents and gods know what else is fun for me?" fumed the bard. "Do you know how often I have to talk to the back of your head?"
Xena ignored her and dug her heels into Argo’s sides, but only enough to make her jump and plunge around on the spot a bit, because she didn’t plan on leaving just yet. It just looked kind of warrior-ish.
Gabrielle watched wistfully. "I wish I could do that," she ventured sadly.
Xena took one hand off the reins. "Try it. You probably can."
The bard booted Horse hard, and found to her delight that indeed she could. "Look, Xena!" she cried triumphantly as Horse bucked and kicked and slewed around from one side of the track to the other. "New skills! New skills! That’s it, I’m shaving my head."
There was no answer.
"Xena? Xena, pay attention to me! Pay attention to me!"
"I can’t, Gabrielle, I have to look over here now." Xena was staring icily out across the suddenly rolling hills. "We’re going to make this scum wish he’d never been born. Yah!"
She kicked Argo to a gallop and rode off unerringly in the vaguely general direction of the village.
Gabrielle watched soulfully for a little while and then rode off after her, not quite as fast, not quite as well and not quite as prettily as Xena. "
Fighting the Good Fight by Temora