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crack_van2010-05-31 01:49 am
nicole-anell.livejournal.com) wrote in crack_van2010-05-31 01:49 am
Entry tags:
Who's Zoomin' Who by JennyO (PG-13)
Fandom: BATTLESTAR GALACTICA (NEW)
Pairing: various (Roslin/Maya, Roslin/Lee, Adama/Roslin, Kara/Sam, Lee/Dualla, Baltar/Ellen/everyone, Cottle/snark)
Length: one-shot
Author on LJ:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
jennyo
Author Website: Jennifer Oksana archive @wordpress
Why this must be read:
This crackfic just gives me ridiculous amounts of glee. Apparently inspired by a "Grey's Anatomy" episode (of all things), various characters react to the news of a widespread syphilis outbreak shortly after settling on New Caprica. Antibiotics and safe-sex education save the day, but not before some awkward conversations with Cottle, President Baltar (who is, naturally, Patient Zero) acting like a damn fool, and a variety of Shocking Revelations about who has been frakked by whom. STD-themed hilarity ensues!
excerpt:
"You gave me syphilis," was Zarek's carefree explanation.
"How the frak -- Gaeta, get me some ice, please -- did I do that?" Baltar asked, aware that he should have the man arrested, but not particularly wanting news to get out that the president had been syphilitic. Diminished the office.
"Ellen Tigh informed me that the only other person besides her husband who had shared her bed in the past month was you," Zarek said. "Roslin should be president, not you. She wouldn't have given a good two hundred and twenty-seven people syphilis."
Baltar snorted. "No, she's too busy dividing her time between the Adama boys and that bit of crumpet she teaches with," he said.
"You gave us syphilis?" Gaeta asked, giving Baltar a very dirty look. "Sir."
"Yes, I am the bastard who caught and spread syphilis," Baltar said. "Thank you, Tom, I was trying to be discreet for the sake of the office."
Who's Zoomin' Who
Pairing: various (Roslin/Maya, Roslin/Lee, Adama/Roslin, Kara/Sam, Lee/Dualla, Baltar/Ellen/everyone, Cottle/snark)
Length: one-shot
Author on LJ:
jennyoAuthor Website: Jennifer Oksana archive @wordpress
Why this must be read:
This crackfic just gives me ridiculous amounts of glee. Apparently inspired by a "Grey's Anatomy" episode (of all things), various characters react to the news of a widespread syphilis outbreak shortly after settling on New Caprica. Antibiotics and safe-sex education save the day, but not before some awkward conversations with Cottle, President Baltar (who is, naturally, Patient Zero) acting like a damn fool, and a variety of Shocking Revelations about who has been frakked by whom. STD-themed hilarity ensues!
excerpt:
"You gave me syphilis," was Zarek's carefree explanation.
"How the frak -- Gaeta, get me some ice, please -- did I do that?" Baltar asked, aware that he should have the man arrested, but not particularly wanting news to get out that the president had been syphilitic. Diminished the office.
"Ellen Tigh informed me that the only other person besides her husband who had shared her bed in the past month was you," Zarek said. "Roslin should be president, not you. She wouldn't have given a good two hundred and twenty-seven people syphilis."
Baltar snorted. "No, she's too busy dividing her time between the Adama boys and that bit of crumpet she teaches with," he said.
"You gave us syphilis?" Gaeta asked, giving Baltar a very dirty look. "Sir."
"Yes, I am the bastard who caught and spread syphilis," Baltar said. "Thank you, Tom, I was trying to be discreet for the sake of the office."
Who's Zoomin' Who