ext_4057 (![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
nos4a2no9.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
crack_van2011-02-03 07:21 pm
nos4a2no9.livejournal.com) wrote in crack_van2011-02-03 07:21 pm
Entry tags:
A Handful of Rain by Riyku (NC-17)
Hi, I'm ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
nos4a2no9 (call me Nos) and I'll be taking the wheel for CW RPS this month. I'm going to focus on recommending some select stories from the annual SPN/J2 Big Bang challenge. Long stories are love, and the Big Bang has produced a whole host of meaty fics that you can really sink your metaphorical teeth into.
Okay, let's get started!
Fandom: RPF: the WB/CW
Pairing: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Length: ~33,000 words
Author on LJ:riyku, with art by zaipixie
Author Website: Here Be the Fic on LJ
Why this must be read:
A Handful of Rain is one of those rare stories that reads like original fic. The tale follows former junkie Jensen as he tries to get clean and get his life back together. After a nasty overdose he lands in a halfway house run by Jared, and the two begin to build a friendship that eventually blossoms into romance. If you're a veteran RPS reader, you can probably identify some of the thematic and emotional pitfalls that could plague a story written by someone less confident thanriyku. There is potential for squicky trust abuse (Jared is a drug counsellor, after all, and Jensen is his counsellee) and such a melodramatic plot could run the risk of offering up an unrealistic or inaccurate representation of drug addiction. Instead, we're treated to a remarkably lyrical and moving portrait of the painful process of withdrawal and recovery.
The prose here is fabulous, poetic without sacrificing realism, andriyku proves she has an excellent handle on the emotional, physical and psychological complications of serious long-term drug addiction. The story's focus remains firmly on addiction, even as the J2 romance develops. riyku doesn't let her characters (or the reader) off easy, and the constant drumbeat of addiction is as much a central thematic fixture for reader as much as it is for Jensen. A Handful of Rain asks some serious and challenging questions about love, drug dependency, hope, and the meagre expectations of former addicts. It shows us how difficult yet rewarding each passing day becomes. I haven't read anything (in published or self-posted fanfic) that approaches this level of sensitivity and realism about such a serious topic, and this story is definitely worth a read. Rest assured, the story isn't as fraught as I make it sound. Hell, it's even kind of fun!
Jared’s bedroom was downstairs, separate from the rest on the upper level, to give Jared some small amount of privacy, Jensen supposed, or maybe give him a place where he could at least symbolically have some time off. He paused for a few seconds before knocking on Jared’s door. Nothing but silence from the other side greeted him, and he was about to turn away when it opened a couple of inches. Jared was red eyed and squinting, his hair a tousled mess and there were lines on his face from his pillow.
“Everything okay?” his voice was gravelly from sleep. He ran a hand across his eyes.
“No.” Because it really wasn’t, not at all. “I can’t sleep. And I want it. Right the fuck now. So badly.”
Jared opened the door to allow Jensen in, grabbed a t-shirt from the chair in the corner and pulled it over his head. He lit a couple of candles on his dresser before lying down on his bed, resting on his side and patting the narrow space beside him in invitation.
“I’m sick of this,” Jensen said, as he rested on his back and covered his eyes with his forearm. “What I don’t understand is why you’re not sick of it.”
Jared shifted over slightly so that their hips and thighs were touching. Jensen felt a sleep-warm arm worm beneath his shoulders and he let himself sink into the touch, leaning heavily into Jared, breathing in the clean smell of him. It was comforting.
Jensen continued, “You deal with us, these little mini train wrecks day in and day out. I don’t get how you do it. How you keep on doing it.”
“I can’t pretend to understand what goes through your head, how you manage to resist this… thing inside you constantly. It’s got to be like trying to hold a handful of rain. Damn near impossible, but you just keep on holding your hands out for more.” Jared laughed a little. “It’s a shitty comparison, I know.”
“It works,” Jensen shrugged.
“I do it, and I keep on doing it because you are the strongest person I’ve ever met.”
Jensen felt his heart skip a beat. He’d been called a lot of things in the past, but that had never been one of him -- pathetic, maybe; stupid, and spoiled, and weak, but never strong. Not once. He wished right then that he could see himself through Jared’s eyes, see what Jared saw and believe what he believed. Or at least be worthy of it.
A Handful of Rain
nos4a2no9 (call me Nos) and I'll be taking the wheel for CW RPS this month. I'm going to focus on recommending some select stories from the annual SPN/J2 Big Bang challenge. Long stories are love, and the Big Bang has produced a whole host of meaty fics that you can really sink your metaphorical teeth into. Okay, let's get started!
Fandom: RPF: the WB/CW
Pairing: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Length: ~33,000 words
Author on LJ:
riyku, with art by zaipixieAuthor Website: Here Be the Fic on LJ
Why this must be read:
A Handful of Rain is one of those rare stories that reads like original fic. The tale follows former junkie Jensen as he tries to get clean and get his life back together. After a nasty overdose he lands in a halfway house run by Jared, and the two begin to build a friendship that eventually blossoms into romance. If you're a veteran RPS reader, you can probably identify some of the thematic and emotional pitfalls that could plague a story written by someone less confident than
riyku. There is potential for squicky trust abuse (Jared is a drug counsellor, after all, and Jensen is his counsellee) and such a melodramatic plot could run the risk of offering up an unrealistic or inaccurate representation of drug addiction. Instead, we're treated to a remarkably lyrical and moving portrait of the painful process of withdrawal and recovery. The prose here is fabulous, poetic without sacrificing realism, and
riyku proves she has an excellent handle on the emotional, physical and psychological complications of serious long-term drug addiction. The story's focus remains firmly on addiction, even as the J2 romance develops. riyku doesn't let her characters (or the reader) off easy, and the constant drumbeat of addiction is as much a central thematic fixture for reader as much as it is for Jensen. A Handful of Rain asks some serious and challenging questions about love, drug dependency, hope, and the meagre expectations of former addicts. It shows us how difficult yet rewarding each passing day becomes. I haven't read anything (in published or self-posted fanfic) that approaches this level of sensitivity and realism about such a serious topic, and this story is definitely worth a read. Rest assured, the story isn't as fraught as I make it sound. Hell, it's even kind of fun! Jared’s bedroom was downstairs, separate from the rest on the upper level, to give Jared some small amount of privacy, Jensen supposed, or maybe give him a place where he could at least symbolically have some time off. He paused for a few seconds before knocking on Jared’s door. Nothing but silence from the other side greeted him, and he was about to turn away when it opened a couple of inches. Jared was red eyed and squinting, his hair a tousled mess and there were lines on his face from his pillow.
“Everything okay?” his voice was gravelly from sleep. He ran a hand across his eyes.
“No.” Because it really wasn’t, not at all. “I can’t sleep. And I want it. Right the fuck now. So badly.”
Jared opened the door to allow Jensen in, grabbed a t-shirt from the chair in the corner and pulled it over his head. He lit a couple of candles on his dresser before lying down on his bed, resting on his side and patting the narrow space beside him in invitation.
“I’m sick of this,” Jensen said, as he rested on his back and covered his eyes with his forearm. “What I don’t understand is why you’re not sick of it.”
Jared shifted over slightly so that their hips and thighs were touching. Jensen felt a sleep-warm arm worm beneath his shoulders and he let himself sink into the touch, leaning heavily into Jared, breathing in the clean smell of him. It was comforting.
Jensen continued, “You deal with us, these little mini train wrecks day in and day out. I don’t get how you do it. How you keep on doing it.”
“I can’t pretend to understand what goes through your head, how you manage to resist this… thing inside you constantly. It’s got to be like trying to hold a handful of rain. Damn near impossible, but you just keep on holding your hands out for more.” Jared laughed a little. “It’s a shitty comparison, I know.”
“It works,” Jensen shrugged.
“I do it, and I keep on doing it because you are the strongest person I’ve ever met.”
Jensen felt his heart skip a beat. He’d been called a lot of things in the past, but that had never been one of him -- pathetic, maybe; stupid, and spoiled, and weak, but never strong. Not once. He wished right then that he could see himself through Jared’s eyes, see what Jared saw and believe what he believed. Or at least be worthy of it.
A Handful of Rain
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
Stay warm!
no subject
no subject