[shift] Reality by gblvr (R)

[mf_luder_xf]

Fandom: Stargate: Atlantis
Pairing: John/Rodney, minor Weir/Caldwell, Lorne/Zelenka
Length: ~12,200
Author on LJ: gblvr
Author Website: AO3

The implications of this story slay me. The way the parts are woven together is executed extremely well, leaving the reader unknowing as to what is real and what isn't, but a disturbing inclination...without trying to give too much away, this was written for mcshep_match's "angst" category. Keep that in mind. The interactions between John and Rodney are particularly moving.


Even a company as small as Starlight suffers from gossip; there have been rumors floating around for months about some kind of takeover. One morning Rodney overhears Elizabeth's assistant Steven telling Radek and Miko that Elizabeth is in touch with a college classmate, and they've been talking about merging their companies. As usual, Radek is less interested in the business aspect of the conversation, and more interested in people's personal lives.

"Are the companies the only things that will be coming together?" Even though they're on the other side of the cubicle partition, Rodney knows Radek's waggling his eyebrows in the goofy way he always does.

Miko giggles a bit, and says, "Radek! It's none of our business if Elizabeth and her friend are more than friends."

"Oh, I'm pretty sure Elizabeth isn't his type." Steven sounds smug, and Rodney bets his smile is not at all nice. "I don't think we'll be hearing wedding bells any time soon, at least not for those two."

Rodney isn't sure what to think about that, but he figures Elizabeth will tell them what's going on eventually.

When Elizabeth officially announces the merger at the monthly staff meeting, Rodney's only care is that he still has a job. When they're reassured that no one will be unemployed when Starlight Accounting and Gatekeeper Auditing become Stargate Auditing & Accounting, Inc., Rodney stops worrying, and goes back to focusing on his current audit for the Genii Corporation.

A few months later, after they've met the new company president, John Sheppard, Rodney starts to worry about other things, like the fact that he can't seem to stop staring at Mr. Sheppard, who insists everyone is to call him John. Or the way he can't seem to think whenever the man talks to him, or how it is he knows exactly how good Sheppard smells. He finds himself spending a ridiculous amount of time daydreaming about what it would be like to just walk up to Sheppard and kiss him. He's jealous of the familiarity Sheppard has with others; it's something he's never had with anyone, not even his own family, and seeing it makes his chest tight with want.

For the first time in years, Rodney finds himself actively wishing for something he can't have, and he can't seem to make himself stop.


[shift] Reality

There's also a small scene that hit the proverbial cutting room floor: A Kiss