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crack_van2012-02-13 06:27 pm
laurie-ky.livejournal.com) wrote in crack_van2012-02-13 06:27 pm
Entry tags:
The Night Series by Castalie (Explicit, Mature)
Fandom: THE SENTINEL
Pairing: Jim Ellison/Blair Sandburg
Length: 40,371 Ten stories in the series.
Author on LJ:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
castalie
Author's WebsiteCastalie's Page at AO3
Why this must be read
Picture a blighted urban landscape in a port town, odorous with the stink of dead fish, grimy, desolate, decrepit, and dangerous. Now look more closely. A patch of wildflowers managed to push through broken pavement, and is a small oasis of beauty.
That is what this AU series encapsulates. Blair is a sex worker, and goes to his knees in alleys and cheap motel rooms. It's all he knows how to do for a living, because his earlier life took him away from the path Blair traveled in canon. He never got an education, and being sexually abused as a child and young teen skewed how he values his body. But even though his experiences changed where he's ended up in life, he still has the essential core of his personality and interests. He still likes observing people, even if he mostly uses it to please his johns for a bigger tip. But trusting people? No way.
The series gives us snapshots of how Blair finds himself changing that attitude after he keeps running into Jim Ellison, a dock worker and ex-soldier, a capable man but one that can't keep a job for long due to the re-occurring strange health problems he has – combination of something like seizures, allergies, and out of control hyperactive senses.
This isn't a fantasy call-boy story. Jim doesn't take Blair away from the streets. Instead it is gritty, realistic, frequently heartbreaking and utterly beautiful as these two human beings take a fragile, tentative relationship and, despite their volatile moments, build a strong, caring partnership between them.
One of the things I like most about the stories are the passages where Blair turns his fertile imagination into building a safe space emotionally for the two of them. Another is how, despite the problems they face of no affordable health care and Blair's limited options for employment, they have found a safe harbor with each other.
***
Blair knew his imaginary life by heart. He reveled and felt comfortable in it - as if he were, indeed, home.
He'd tried several scenarios before finding the one that really suited him and his lover. He'd built this imaginary life as carefully as if he were building an actual house - step by step, and with every necessary detail. When he'd finally established the correct scenario, he'd kept it hidden like a precious treasure, occasionally adding embellishments here and there according to his mood, or following a particular need he couldn't have satisfied in his real life.
In this imaginary life, he was an anthropologist. He had previously traveled extensively, visiting the most exotic, most interesting places, meeting people he wouldn't even dream of meeting in his current life. He was someone who was respected, with a great deal of knowledge; in fact, a noted scholar.
After traveling all around the world, he'd decided to study for his PhD, and he was also a teacher in a university - maybe Rainier. He didn't really know anything about the place, but one of his recent clients was a professor there and, since the older man was one of the few who treated him with courtesy, he thought it would do.
That wasn't really important, anyway. What was important was his role in life, in society.
He was not a whore, he was a teacher. Someone students could look up to, someone who could be proud of what he was, and what he was doing.
In this dream life, he was still living with his lover, of course. Blair always smiled at the idea that he didn't even have to make up a tall, strong, handsome man. Jim was every bit of that, a dream brought to life.
It seemed as if he had always wished for someone like this... someone who was strong, but would never raise a hand against him in anger, someone who would always treat him with love and respect. He had hoped to find someone so large and strong and caring that he could feel the man behind him, around him, always there to protect and cherish him.
In other words, his Prince Charming. Of course, he himself looked nothing like a princess, but he didn't care, never had. But he'd always wanted a Prince Charming, and maybe that was the only good thing he'd ever gotten from his fucking life. So, in this imaginary life, Prince Charming was still by his side. He was a cop - and yes, considering the life both men lived in reality, the irony didn't escape him, but a cop was perfect. Blair could just see it. His strong, determined lover, protecting and serving his city. It just fit so perfectly.
Then, there was the question of where they lived, but he'd developed that aspect just as thoroughly. They lived together in a loft. Blair had never even considered having a fancy house; all he wanted was a loft - spacious and comfy, homey. They had a big bedroom, and a king-size bed, of course. There was also a nice kitchen, with plenty of pots and pans and other supplies, where they took turns cooking tasty meals, and where they cooked together during the weekends. Last, but not least, their loft had a balcony, with some plants on it - oh, and also a fireplace. That had been a recent addition after last winter.
Maybe perfection didn't exist, but Blair was pretty sure that if it did, this imaginary life would be it. He often indulged in this little fantasy life, sometimes literally losing himself in it. It didn't matter; his Jim was there to bring him back. Always.
Like tonight.
He felt a hand on his hair. He blinked, and slowly looked up. Jim was watching him, a fond smile on his usually stern, impassive face.
"Dreaming again, babe?"
"Maybe." Blair couldn't help but smile back at his lover's voice.
"Maybe, huh?" Jim knelt in front of him, disregarding the hard-faced men who were walking past them. He ignored the whispers, the contempt he could decipher in some of their comments. He didn't even glance at them, but his mind registered who said what, and he knew he would have a 'talk' with some of his nice 'colleagues' the next time he saw them.
At least no one had said anything to their faces this time. He didn't want to start the night with a fight on his hands. Furthermore, he didn't want to risk losing this new job so soon after getting it. He couldn't care less about the other men's good health; it was actually quite satisfying to show them the error of their ways in a more... direct language. But he was fed up with having to explain himself to bosses who didn't give a shit about his life, or about his need to protect the only thing of value in said life, namely his lover.
He decided to forget about them for the time being, and focused back on Blair. Jim rested his hand on the younger man's neck, caressing it softly with his thumb. "So, what was it this time? Did you add a new piece of furniture? Or maybe we moved into a new house?"
Blair dismissed the thought with a flying hand and a smile. "Don't be silly, Jim. Our loft is perfect, we wouldn't even dream of moving out. And no, I didn't add anything tonight." He leaned into Jim's caress, closing his eyes for a second.
Jim stood up after a moment, pulling Blair up in the process. He leaned forward and kissed him quickly on the lips. He liked that Blair hadn't added anything tonight. It meant he didn't feel the need for improvements, and that was always a good sign. It meant that Blair was feeling fine. Jim placed his hand on the small of his lover's back, just barely touching it - knowing it was still quite painful - and they started heading home.
The Night series by Castalie
Pairing: Jim Ellison/Blair Sandburg
Length: 40,371 Ten stories in the series.
Author on LJ:
castalieAuthor's WebsiteCastalie's Page at AO3
Why this must be read
Picture a blighted urban landscape in a port town, odorous with the stink of dead fish, grimy, desolate, decrepit, and dangerous. Now look more closely. A patch of wildflowers managed to push through broken pavement, and is a small oasis of beauty.
That is what this AU series encapsulates. Blair is a sex worker, and goes to his knees in alleys and cheap motel rooms. It's all he knows how to do for a living, because his earlier life took him away from the path Blair traveled in canon. He never got an education, and being sexually abused as a child and young teen skewed how he values his body. But even though his experiences changed where he's ended up in life, he still has the essential core of his personality and interests. He still likes observing people, even if he mostly uses it to please his johns for a bigger tip. But trusting people? No way.
The series gives us snapshots of how Blair finds himself changing that attitude after he keeps running into Jim Ellison, a dock worker and ex-soldier, a capable man but one that can't keep a job for long due to the re-occurring strange health problems he has – combination of something like seizures, allergies, and out of control hyperactive senses.
This isn't a fantasy call-boy story. Jim doesn't take Blair away from the streets. Instead it is gritty, realistic, frequently heartbreaking and utterly beautiful as these two human beings take a fragile, tentative relationship and, despite their volatile moments, build a strong, caring partnership between them.
One of the things I like most about the stories are the passages where Blair turns his fertile imagination into building a safe space emotionally for the two of them. Another is how, despite the problems they face of no affordable health care and Blair's limited options for employment, they have found a safe harbor with each other.
***
Blair knew his imaginary life by heart. He reveled and felt comfortable in it - as if he were, indeed, home.
He'd tried several scenarios before finding the one that really suited him and his lover. He'd built this imaginary life as carefully as if he were building an actual house - step by step, and with every necessary detail. When he'd finally established the correct scenario, he'd kept it hidden like a precious treasure, occasionally adding embellishments here and there according to his mood, or following a particular need he couldn't have satisfied in his real life.
In this imaginary life, he was an anthropologist. He had previously traveled extensively, visiting the most exotic, most interesting places, meeting people he wouldn't even dream of meeting in his current life. He was someone who was respected, with a great deal of knowledge; in fact, a noted scholar.
After traveling all around the world, he'd decided to study for his PhD, and he was also a teacher in a university - maybe Rainier. He didn't really know anything about the place, but one of his recent clients was a professor there and, since the older man was one of the few who treated him with courtesy, he thought it would do.
That wasn't really important, anyway. What was important was his role in life, in society.
He was not a whore, he was a teacher. Someone students could look up to, someone who could be proud of what he was, and what he was doing.
In this dream life, he was still living with his lover, of course. Blair always smiled at the idea that he didn't even have to make up a tall, strong, handsome man. Jim was every bit of that, a dream brought to life.
It seemed as if he had always wished for someone like this... someone who was strong, but would never raise a hand against him in anger, someone who would always treat him with love and respect. He had hoped to find someone so large and strong and caring that he could feel the man behind him, around him, always there to protect and cherish him.
In other words, his Prince Charming. Of course, he himself looked nothing like a princess, but he didn't care, never had. But he'd always wanted a Prince Charming, and maybe that was the only good thing he'd ever gotten from his fucking life. So, in this imaginary life, Prince Charming was still by his side. He was a cop - and yes, considering the life both men lived in reality, the irony didn't escape him, but a cop was perfect. Blair could just see it. His strong, determined lover, protecting and serving his city. It just fit so perfectly.
Then, there was the question of where they lived, but he'd developed that aspect just as thoroughly. They lived together in a loft. Blair had never even considered having a fancy house; all he wanted was a loft - spacious and comfy, homey. They had a big bedroom, and a king-size bed, of course. There was also a nice kitchen, with plenty of pots and pans and other supplies, where they took turns cooking tasty meals, and where they cooked together during the weekends. Last, but not least, their loft had a balcony, with some plants on it - oh, and also a fireplace. That had been a recent addition after last winter.
Maybe perfection didn't exist, but Blair was pretty sure that if it did, this imaginary life would be it. He often indulged in this little fantasy life, sometimes literally losing himself in it. It didn't matter; his Jim was there to bring him back. Always.
Like tonight.
He felt a hand on his hair. He blinked, and slowly looked up. Jim was watching him, a fond smile on his usually stern, impassive face.
"Dreaming again, babe?"
"Maybe." Blair couldn't help but smile back at his lover's voice.
"Maybe, huh?" Jim knelt in front of him, disregarding the hard-faced men who were walking past them. He ignored the whispers, the contempt he could decipher in some of their comments. He didn't even glance at them, but his mind registered who said what, and he knew he would have a 'talk' with some of his nice 'colleagues' the next time he saw them.
At least no one had said anything to their faces this time. He didn't want to start the night with a fight on his hands. Furthermore, he didn't want to risk losing this new job so soon after getting it. He couldn't care less about the other men's good health; it was actually quite satisfying to show them the error of their ways in a more... direct language. But he was fed up with having to explain himself to bosses who didn't give a shit about his life, or about his need to protect the only thing of value in said life, namely his lover.
He decided to forget about them for the time being, and focused back on Blair. Jim rested his hand on the younger man's neck, caressing it softly with his thumb. "So, what was it this time? Did you add a new piece of furniture? Or maybe we moved into a new house?"
Blair dismissed the thought with a flying hand and a smile. "Don't be silly, Jim. Our loft is perfect, we wouldn't even dream of moving out. And no, I didn't add anything tonight." He leaned into Jim's caress, closing his eyes for a second.
Jim stood up after a moment, pulling Blair up in the process. He leaned forward and kissed him quickly on the lips. He liked that Blair hadn't added anything tonight. It meant he didn't feel the need for improvements, and that was always a good sign. It meant that Blair was feeling fine. Jim placed his hand on the small of his lover's back, just barely touching it - knowing it was still quite painful - and they started heading home.
The Night series by Castalie