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crack_van2012-05-01 02:04 pm
kittenmommy.livejournal.com) wrote in crack_van2012-05-01 02:04 pm
Entry tags:
No Swearing Allowed by Evangelina (PG)
Hello, I’m ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kittenmommy, and I’ll be driving the Gatchaman/Battle of The Planets van this month!
There’s a fandom overview post here.
My first rec is a crossover between Gatchaman and Battle of The Planets… and it’s hilarious!
Fandom: Gatchaman/Battle of The Planets
Pairing: Hints of Mark/Princess.
Length: 6,446 words
Author on LJ: Unknown
Author Website: Evangelina on the Gatchaman Fanfic Archive
Why this must be read: Gatchaman and Battle of The Planets were two very different shows. Gatchaman included swearing and violence, whereas Battle of The Planets went out of the way to protect children from the harsh realities of life… like death, or even swearing. This fic is what happens when Joe (from Gatchman) somehow accidentally trades places with Jason, his Battle of The Planets counterpart. Hilarity very much ensues!
An excerpt:
We’d hardly arrived when a bank of monitors along the wall lit up. Everyone jumped to attention in front of the one with the funny-looking egg-shaped robot.
“Jason!” Jun…well, Princess…hissed. The same voice she used when Jinpei was misbehaving.
I looked more carefully at the robot. In addition to sporting a symbol on his chest that reminded me of Egyptian finery, he seemed to be wearing a cape. A bright yellow cape.
“My monitors have picked up a new threat from Spectra!” it announced. “At first I thought it was some dirt on the screen, but you know I wipe them down at least ten times an hour. I’m quite certain Zoltar is working on the latest Spectra menace!”
“Zaaarrrrrrrk,” a new voice said. It was coming through the same monitor as the robot’s voice, and it was slinky.
The robot’s antennae shot straight up in the air, quivering. “Oh, Susan!” He giggled.
I have no idea how one programs a robot to giggle.
“I hope I’m not…interrupting something,” she breathed.
She sounded like a phone sex operator.
“I just…wanted to make sure you got…the message I sent…on your monitors,” she said.
I wondered if she’d sent him porn.
“Oh, you’re on my monitors, Susan! I mean, I’m definitely looking! I mean, yes, I know about the problem! I’m talking to Mark, the commander of G-Force, and the rest of the team about it right now.”
“Oooohhh,” she said. “I was hoping to catch you during one of your…ten-second oil breaks. I like to talk to you when you’re…lying down.”
The robot giggled some more, his antennae vibrating with excitement. I wanted to look away and couldn’t seem to. It was that disturbing.
To us, he said, “That’s Susan, the early warning system on planet Pluto! I tell her all the time how proud I am to work with the G-Force team!" He raised one metal hand and whacked himself in the chest with it, an imitation of what we did when Nambu sent us out. "Oh my, I do hope I get to meet her some day! She just lights up all my transistors.”
A new sound, a series of loud, high-pitched electronic bursts, and the robot added, “One-Rover-one agrees!” That sound again, apparently a robot dog yapping. The robot leaned a little out of the screen and when he came back he said, "He does so love those wrenches I feed him."
I snickered, and when both Mark and Princess turned to glare at me, I tried to make it into a cough.
Zark focused on Mark again, if a robot without a real face can focus. “Well, I know you're taking a little time off for the race,” he said. “Jason is one of the best racers on the planet! We know you'll win this race and make us all proud, Jason! I am so proud of you, even if you can be a little hotheaded. You're still a valuable member of the G-Force team! Oh, I do care so much about you young people! Do be careful while you're away!"
He faded out.
He was like a crazy old lady on crack. I couldn't wait to see what 1-Rover-1 looked like.
No Swearing Allowed.
Enjoy! :D
kittenmommy, and I’ll be driving the Gatchaman/Battle of The Planets van this month!There’s a fandom overview post here.
My first rec is a crossover between Gatchaman and Battle of The Planets… and it’s hilarious!
Fandom: Gatchaman/Battle of The Planets
Pairing: Hints of Mark/Princess.
Length: 6,446 words
Author on LJ: Unknown
Author Website: Evangelina on the Gatchaman Fanfic Archive
Why this must be read: Gatchaman and Battle of The Planets were two very different shows. Gatchaman included swearing and violence, whereas Battle of The Planets went out of the way to protect children from the harsh realities of life… like death, or even swearing. This fic is what happens when Joe (from Gatchman) somehow accidentally trades places with Jason, his Battle of The Planets counterpart. Hilarity very much ensues!
An excerpt:
We’d hardly arrived when a bank of monitors along the wall lit up. Everyone jumped to attention in front of the one with the funny-looking egg-shaped robot.
“Jason!” Jun…well, Princess…hissed. The same voice she used when Jinpei was misbehaving.
I looked more carefully at the robot. In addition to sporting a symbol on his chest that reminded me of Egyptian finery, he seemed to be wearing a cape. A bright yellow cape.
“My monitors have picked up a new threat from Spectra!” it announced. “At first I thought it was some dirt on the screen, but you know I wipe them down at least ten times an hour. I’m quite certain Zoltar is working on the latest Spectra menace!”
“Zaaarrrrrrrk,” a new voice said. It was coming through the same monitor as the robot’s voice, and it was slinky.
The robot’s antennae shot straight up in the air, quivering. “Oh, Susan!” He giggled.
I have no idea how one programs a robot to giggle.
“I hope I’m not…interrupting something,” she breathed.
She sounded like a phone sex operator.
“I just…wanted to make sure you got…the message I sent…on your monitors,” she said.
I wondered if she’d sent him porn.
“Oh, you’re on my monitors, Susan! I mean, I’m definitely looking! I mean, yes, I know about the problem! I’m talking to Mark, the commander of G-Force, and the rest of the team about it right now.”
“Oooohhh,” she said. “I was hoping to catch you during one of your…ten-second oil breaks. I like to talk to you when you’re…lying down.”
The robot giggled some more, his antennae vibrating with excitement. I wanted to look away and couldn’t seem to. It was that disturbing.
To us, he said, “That’s Susan, the early warning system on planet Pluto! I tell her all the time how proud I am to work with the G-Force team!" He raised one metal hand and whacked himself in the chest with it, an imitation of what we did when Nambu sent us out. "Oh my, I do hope I get to meet her some day! She just lights up all my transistors.”
A new sound, a series of loud, high-pitched electronic bursts, and the robot added, “One-Rover-one agrees!” That sound again, apparently a robot dog yapping. The robot leaned a little out of the screen and when he came back he said, "He does so love those wrenches I feed him."
I snickered, and when both Mark and Princess turned to glare at me, I tried to make it into a cough.
Zark focused on Mark again, if a robot without a real face can focus. “Well, I know you're taking a little time off for the race,” he said. “Jason is one of the best racers on the planet! We know you'll win this race and make us all proud, Jason! I am so proud of you, even if you can be a little hotheaded. You're still a valuable member of the G-Force team! Oh, I do care so much about you young people! Do be careful while you're away!"
He faded out.
He was like a crazy old lady on crack. I couldn't wait to see what 1-Rover-1 looked like.
No Swearing Allowed.
Enjoy! :D