IMHO the point was there, yes, but the story wasn't written well enough to illustrate it in the way I see it done in good authors' fics. The wallowing in the torture just ruined the point for me, as if it was screaming it over and over again, *yawn*.

Anyway, I know you and I disagree on authorial indulgence in personal tastes and kinks. I can't say I'm not guilty of indulging in those myself, not by far. It's just that I'm hypersensitive to them when I see them in others' fics, *especially* when the writing is unpolished and probably unbetaed (or betaed but the author hasn't wanted to develop as a writer). It's really a badfic cliche.