I Will Dream I Was a Daughter by Delgaserasca (PG)

[oceloty.livejournal.com]

Fandom: SPOOKS (MI-5)
Pairing: Ruth Evershed / Harry Pearce
Length: One shot, 1200 words
Author on LJ: delgaserasca
Author Website: Spooks tagged stories
Why this must be read:

Ruth is an easy character to love, but it’s not so easy to find stories that do justice to the complexity of her character, or her relationship with Harry.

“I Will Dream I Was a Daughter” does all that and more. The story is made up of Ruth’s introspections during 5x06 as she prepares to take a fall for Harry and flee the country. Delgaserasca fills the story with wonderful character moments, like Zaf's small kindnesses, but at the heart of it all is Ruth, talking herself into losing her whole life.

Excerpt:

She doesn’t remind herself of her self-doubt, of her conviction battling with Harry’s assurances to the contrary. She doesn’t think about how she second-guessed herself.

Mostly, though, she thinks of Harry, and of how he came to her as soon as she called, and how he came to believe in her, despite his initial caution. She thinks of Tom Quinn and a long walk into a deep ocean, and she thinks of Zoe, and Danny, and Sam, and Fiona, and Colin, and she thinks, oh god, it's me now, I'm next, what am I doing?

I Will Dream I Was a Daughter on author's livejournal community or on Yuletide archive