The Walrus and the Guy Who Carpents, by Plainapple (NC-17)

[mariska-lee.livejournal.com]

Fandom: PSYCH
Pairing: Shawn Spencer/Carlton Lassiter
Length: about 17,500 words
Author on LJ: plainapple
Author Website: plainapple on AO3

A couple of notes, before we get to why it must be read - and it must:
Note 1: If you've been in the fandom awhile, you may be familiar with this fic by its original name, Plainapple’s Opus: A Slashtacular Adventure of Psychish Proportions!. It's one of the classics in the fandom, and it needs to be included among the crack-van recs. For newbies to the fandom, this one's definitely a must-read.
Note 2: I've listed this as NC-17, but only the last part (which plainapple helpfully calls Bonus Porn in her lj version) is actually NC-17. The rest of the story is no more than R and the story can be read without continuing on to the porny bonus, so whichever audience you are, this fic is for you.

Why this must be read: I love case fic. I've probably mentioned that already. I especially love case fic that just nails the voices of the characters, and that's what we get in this story. The case involves the suicide-that-might-be-murder of a councilman's intern. I won't say too much so as not to spoil the ending, but in my personal head canon the carpenter of the title is played by Carter Oosterhouse. Really, I think one sign of a great fic is that the reader can cast the OC's from the way they're presented in the story. And when the casting can bring to mind a real-life hot carpenter, that's another plus.

The story reads like the best Psych episodes, and the dialogue is laugh-out-loud funny. The underlying Shassie development is well-done and feels true to the guys we know and love. But the main thing about this fic is that the banter - between Shawn and Gus, as well as Shawn and Lassie - is just perfect. Snarky but affectionate, just like Shawn himself.

Excerpt:
“Gus…”

“We agreed. You get to bring up you creepy man crush on Lassiter or mention Lassiter and sex in the same sentence no more than once every-other Wednesday. Today is a Friday. Not even an every-other Friday. I had to listen to twenty minutes of ‘are Lassie’s eyes more azure or cerulean’ two nights ago and I’m not going through it again this week.”

“Please. It only took me thirteen minutes to settle on azure and you know it. Unless he’s angry. Then they’re more of a cobalt…”

“I will push you out of this car.”

“You know, I never put restrictions on how often you can talk about your crushes.”

“That’s because I don’t get crushes on gun wielding maniacs who are old enough to be my father.”

“What about Melvin Van Peebles?” asked Shawn.

“Exception to the rule.”

“Besides, Lassie is so not old enough to be my father. Not unless he was like, the most virile nine year old ever. Which… maybe. I mean, he seems like he’s got a lot of testosterone so…”

“I’m serious Shawn. I will push you out of this moving vehicle.”

On livejournal, where it's called: Plainapple’s Opus: A Slashtacular Adventure of Psychish Proportions!

Or on AO3, where plainapple has updated the name to the absolutely perfectly Psych-like: The Walrus and the Guy Who Carpents