No One Ever Said It Would Be This Hard by kel (pg)

[musesfool.livejournal.com]

Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Remus Lupin/Sirius Black
Author on LJ: throughadoor
Author Website: writers of unpopular fiction are trying to drink more
Why this must be read:

This story is subtitled "Remus Lupin and the Order of the Phoenix" and it is exactly that - selected scenes from OotP from Remus's POV. Beautifully realized alternate POV with spare and lyrical language and a sure feel for the characters. Sad and clever and funny and hurtful.

A quote:

"Sirius," a woman's voice had croaked behind him, "Sirius, stand back, there's a werewolf at the door."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "I know, mum, he's just one of my mates from school--"

But before Sirius could finish, a woman bent over a cane with a snake's head that was near identical to the one on the door knocker but carved in wood appeared in the doorway. "Do you mean to tell me you were going to let a werewolf into your father's house? I might not be able to stop you from associating with every half-breed and piece of mudblood trash at that school of yours, but I won't have you bringing that filth into this house." She'd cast a glare toward Remus but hadn't met his shocked gaze. "Now get out, you heard me, get out!"

When Sirius had returned from the holiday with three trunks and a determined grimace, Remus had tried not to blame himself, even if Sirius had gone to stay with James. Sirius had always been recklessness looking for a reason.

"I told Harry about my family today," Sirius said.

Remus' head snapped up to attention. Lost in thought, he'd let Sirius brood silently and his tea had gone cold. "What did he say?" he asked, and tapped his wand against his mug and muttered, "Lumos."

Sirius shook his head, dark hair hanging in his eyes and hiding his expression. "Oh, I reckon he thinks they still aren't as awful as that aunt and uncle he lives with."

"I hope you didn't tell him about how you ran away from home -- you'll give him ideas," Remus said lightly, but then instantly regretted his words.

"I know that you think I left because of what she said to you," Sirius said, and Remus started to disagree, because when it was put that way, well, it made him sound rather -- but then Sirius added, "and it was, but not in the way you think."

Remus raised his eyebrows for him to continue.

"It was, oh, it was so much worse," Sirius said, laughing shakily. "After she, ah, set you off, she started tearing into me about inviting a werewolf into the house of Black." His tone on the last three words was sharp and mocking. "And she would have eventually worn herself out, but, I don't know, maybe I was trying to get myself tossed out, but I told her about, ah --"

Remus could see Sirius peering at him desperately, asking him to understand without making him say it. He nodded. "Well, I can imagine she wasn't very happy about that."

Sirius' shoulders sagged. "It was just another bit of blood treachery to her, you know. A crime against the family, not passing on the noble line. And then she started in on the obligations to our fathers and I -- it was just one more thing in my life she'd managed to make all about her pure-blood mania and so I left."

Past and present, love and guilt and regret - this story really does a masterful job of retelling Order of the Phoenix from Remus's point of view, and breaking your heart all over again.

And of course, there's a sequel, equally fabulous, well-written and heartbreaking, Nobody Said It Was Easy by lisew, which brings Remus back to Hogwarts in Harry's sixth year, from Harry's POV, and deals with grief and healing and trust. I pretty much read this story through teary eyes, so have your tissues handy.

No One Ever Said It Would Be This Hard by throughadoor

Nobody Said It Was Easy by lisew