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crack_van2004-10-16 02:24 pm
twigged.livejournal.com) wrote in crack_van2004-10-16 02:24 pm
Entry tags:
The Badger Series by Maya (PG-13)
Fandom: HARRY POTTER
Pairing: Draco/Zacharias, Harry/Draco
Author on LJ:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
mistful
Author Website: Maya’s Fanfiction
Why this must be read:
Because this series is adorable and chock full of snark. Told from the amused but ultimately unaffected view of Hufflepuff Zacharias Smith, watch as he masterfully manipulates Draco, and yanks Harry’s chain over it.
Zacharias considered the matter of the amusing Draco Malfoy for a while, and then approached him. He was standing looking up at the Gryffindors practising, and he was making some notes about their practise that were quite clever, and would probably have come in useful if he hadn’t missed out some crucial parts making faces at Harry Potter.
Zacharias sidled discreetly over to him, and came up with the perfect opening line.
“Harry Potter is a bit of a twit,” he observed calmly.
Draco laughed. “Oh, at last a soulmate,” he responded, and then turned around and jumped back. “Ew, a Hufflepuff,” he said faintly. “You’re not allowed to talk to me, are you?”
“It’s not in the school rules,” Zacharias pointed out.
“I knew I should have gone to Durmstrang,” Draco muttered. “All right, go away or get beaten to a pulp. Minions!” he called imperiously. “Minions, where are my… oh for God’s sake, they went off for their second brunch, didn’t they?” He looked pensive. “It’s so hard to find good minions.”
“If I was rich,” Zacharias remarked, hoping that he wasn’t giving him ideas, “I’d hire assassins.”
The suggestion seemed to appeal to Draco, who tilted his head in his direction in a manner that suggested he could one day accept that Zacharias was not taking up air that could be more usefully conserved for Slytherins.
“My mother has all kinds of absurd rules,” he answered. “No contract killers until you’re eighteen, Draco. Honestly!” Zacharias laughed, and Draco appeared to give him further consideration. “What’s your name, then?” he snapped.
“Zacharias Smith.”
“Smith. Yeah, right.” Draco rolled his eyes. “Every Hufflepuff I meet tells me his name is Smith. Do they think I have a little black book where I put down names?”
“I don’t know, do you?” Zacharias asked.
“Actually, I do. But I don’t put Hufflepuffs’ names down in it.” Draco sneered. “What’s your actual name?”
“It really is Zacharias Smith.”
“There’s actually a Smith in Hufflepuff?” Draco frowned. “Your housemates must not like you very much.”
Zacharias shrugged.
“I’m-”
“Draco, yes I know.”
“Malfoy,” Draco corrected, displeased.
“I’m not calling you Malfoy,” Zacharias said flatly. “It’s far too English public boys’ school. It’s like Eton.”
He thought of Justin, and made a face.
“I don’t know what an Eton is,” Draco told him, in tones indicating that Eton did not deserve this honour. “But we are in an English public school.”
“Actually, this is Scotland,” Zacharias corrected.
“Scotland!” Draco looked perfectly horrified. “No wonder they don’t let us out of the school grounds. The natives wear kilts.”
“So what? You wear robes.”
“It’s a question of decorum,” Draco informed him. “You cannot see my knees.”
Shame, thought Zacharias, and then wondered briefly if Justin might be rubbing off on him.
“And they have weapons called bagpipes. And red hair,” Draco continued. “Savage, Muggle Weasleys.”
“The hair’s a bit disconcerting,” Zacharias admitted.
“Your hair is all right,” Draco said graciously.
“Thank you,” said Zacharias, aware that this was the ultimate seal of Malfoy Approval.
“Excuse me,” Draco said suddenly.
The Gryffindor Quidditch team had landed, and Draco apparently just had to stroll over to them. Zacharias saw his lips move a few times, and then Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Angelina Johnson leaped on him and began to pummel him.
Gryffindors always were a bit touchy.
Zacharias bit his lip as Draco went down. Ouch. That had to hurt.
“You want to help out your disgusting little friend?” someone yelled in his direction.
Zacharias shrugged.
The Professionals Guild to Badgering People
Crouching Lion, Hidden Badger
How the Badger Has Fallen
Pairing: Draco/Zacharias, Harry/Draco
Author on LJ:
mistfulAuthor Website: Maya’s Fanfiction
Why this must be read:
Because this series is adorable and chock full of snark. Told from the amused but ultimately unaffected view of Hufflepuff Zacharias Smith, watch as he masterfully manipulates Draco, and yanks Harry’s chain over it.
Zacharias considered the matter of the amusing Draco Malfoy for a while, and then approached him. He was standing looking up at the Gryffindors practising, and he was making some notes about their practise that were quite clever, and would probably have come in useful if he hadn’t missed out some crucial parts making faces at Harry Potter.
Zacharias sidled discreetly over to him, and came up with the perfect opening line.
“Harry Potter is a bit of a twit,” he observed calmly.
Draco laughed. “Oh, at last a soulmate,” he responded, and then turned around and jumped back. “Ew, a Hufflepuff,” he said faintly. “You’re not allowed to talk to me, are you?”
“It’s not in the school rules,” Zacharias pointed out.
“I knew I should have gone to Durmstrang,” Draco muttered. “All right, go away or get beaten to a pulp. Minions!” he called imperiously. “Minions, where are my… oh for God’s sake, they went off for their second brunch, didn’t they?” He looked pensive. “It’s so hard to find good minions.”
“If I was rich,” Zacharias remarked, hoping that he wasn’t giving him ideas, “I’d hire assassins.”
The suggestion seemed to appeal to Draco, who tilted his head in his direction in a manner that suggested he could one day accept that Zacharias was not taking up air that could be more usefully conserved for Slytherins.
“My mother has all kinds of absurd rules,” he answered. “No contract killers until you’re eighteen, Draco. Honestly!” Zacharias laughed, and Draco appeared to give him further consideration. “What’s your name, then?” he snapped.
“Zacharias Smith.”
“Smith. Yeah, right.” Draco rolled his eyes. “Every Hufflepuff I meet tells me his name is Smith. Do they think I have a little black book where I put down names?”
“I don’t know, do you?” Zacharias asked.
“Actually, I do. But I don’t put Hufflepuffs’ names down in it.” Draco sneered. “What’s your actual name?”
“It really is Zacharias Smith.”
“There’s actually a Smith in Hufflepuff?” Draco frowned. “Your housemates must not like you very much.”
Zacharias shrugged.
“I’m-”
“Draco, yes I know.”
“Malfoy,” Draco corrected, displeased.
“I’m not calling you Malfoy,” Zacharias said flatly. “It’s far too English public boys’ school. It’s like Eton.”
He thought of Justin, and made a face.
“I don’t know what an Eton is,” Draco told him, in tones indicating that Eton did not deserve this honour. “But we are in an English public school.”
“Actually, this is Scotland,” Zacharias corrected.
“Scotland!” Draco looked perfectly horrified. “No wonder they don’t let us out of the school grounds. The natives wear kilts.”
“So what? You wear robes.”
“It’s a question of decorum,” Draco informed him. “You cannot see my knees.”
Shame, thought Zacharias, and then wondered briefly if Justin might be rubbing off on him.
“And they have weapons called bagpipes. And red hair,” Draco continued. “Savage, Muggle Weasleys.”
“The hair’s a bit disconcerting,” Zacharias admitted.
“Your hair is all right,” Draco said graciously.
“Thank you,” said Zacharias, aware that this was the ultimate seal of Malfoy Approval.
“Excuse me,” Draco said suddenly.
The Gryffindor Quidditch team had landed, and Draco apparently just had to stroll over to them. Zacharias saw his lips move a few times, and then Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Angelina Johnson leaped on him and began to pummel him.
Gryffindors always were a bit touchy.
Zacharias bit his lip as Draco went down. Ouch. That had to hurt.
“You want to help out your disgusting little friend?” someone yelled in his direction.
Zacharias shrugged.
The Professionals Guild to Badgering People
Crouching Lion, Hidden Badger
How the Badger Has Fallen