I see you and I are really of a mind on this. I'm the same way -- the angst is the reason I stayed, too. Up until VS I was thinking, "Well, this is all fun, and the guys are hot and all, but it's not really fannish material for me." Then all the bad came crashing down, and knocked me on my ass with appreciative burbly teary joy. I settled in for a good long stretch of adoration after that. (: