ext_21456 (![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
prurient-badger.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
crack_van2006-02-01 07:04 pm
prurient-badger.livejournal.com) wrote in crack_van2006-02-01 07:04 pm
Exactly How It Never Was by V & Silvia (PG-13)
Fandom: POPSLASH
Pairing: Chris/Justin
Author on LJ:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
deepsix & silviakundera
Author Website: Hoping Is Out Of Style
Why this must be read: This is a fabulous example of what makes popslash so unique. It's hilarious and it's silly and these guys are just so detached from reality but we don't care. The characterisations are wonderful, and all the guys get a moment of greatness.
Justin was so not gay, because he had a girlfriend, and he'd never helped a bit when they were trying to convince Lance that it wasn't nasty to give a rim job and, really, it wasn't worth dumping a boyfriend over. And he certainly should have looked a lot less scarred.
Except...sometimes when Britney was around, he got a little too preoccupied with her, in a way that went beyond the role of an attentive boyfriend. He squealed -- though, well, squealed wasn't really the right word, or at least, it shouldn't have been -- over her stylist, and her new shoes, and her new hair products, and when he thought nobody was looking, he kissed at the air next to either of her cheeks, and said, "hi, darling," in the way of greeting, which boyfriends just...didn't do.
But that didn't necessarily mean anything, right? So maybe for a straight guy he did take too much of an active interest in shoe shopping and getting his nails done, but Lance didn't really like either of those, and he was probably as gay as they came. So it didn't make sense to Chris to say that Justin was gay, because that was basing his views on stereotypes and that was wrong.
And then he saw it - blue eyes swinging down to arc clearly across their waiter's ass.
So he thought, then, maybe he'd just ask.
"Um." Chris scratched the back of his neck, and tried to look shy and sensitive or something. "I'm gay."
Chris thought, probably, Justin would say something like, "Me too!", but instead he choked on his water.
+
A small, introductory interlude:
juniper_nyne: OMG YOU'RE DRIVING THE CRACK VAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
prurient_badger: DUDE. I KNOW! *assorted nerdish squee*
prurient_badger: I'm reccing Exactly How It Never Was. Be amusing about Justin and Chris for me so I can quote you.
juniper_nyne: They met, one of them fell madly in love, they had hot underage monkey sex across Germany until the one that fell in love got taller than the other one, nursing his broken heart, the taller one cut off his youthful curls in an attempt to show he was A Young Man now and could provide hot manly sex to the shorter one, however, cutting his hair instantly made him suddenly the hottest piece of boy!tail on the planet and his head was turned by all the female attention, he let himself be sucked into the maelstrom of heterosexuality and we've seen the results splashed across MTV time and again ("Like I love you baby....yeah yeah...."), now post/mid hiatus, the older one has become a recluse, realising in his advancing years that he should have held on and never let go....
juniper_nyne: ...however, it remains to be seen if the younger one will grow jaded with his str8 superstardom and return to the hairy bosom of the one who loved him first and best.
Hi, I'm Alix, and this month on the![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
crack_van we're going to be running the gamut of pairings and silliness. You might have noticed.
Now go read the fic. Don't forget to get in touch with the authors if you enjoyed it.
Exactly How It Never Was
Pairing: Chris/Justin
Author on LJ:
deepsix & silviakunderaAuthor Website: Hoping Is Out Of Style
Why this must be read: This is a fabulous example of what makes popslash so unique. It's hilarious and it's silly and these guys are just so detached from reality but we don't care. The characterisations are wonderful, and all the guys get a moment of greatness.
Justin was so not gay, because he had a girlfriend, and he'd never helped a bit when they were trying to convince Lance that it wasn't nasty to give a rim job and, really, it wasn't worth dumping a boyfriend over. And he certainly should have looked a lot less scarred.
Except...sometimes when Britney was around, he got a little too preoccupied with her, in a way that went beyond the role of an attentive boyfriend. He squealed -- though, well, squealed wasn't really the right word, or at least, it shouldn't have been -- over her stylist, and her new shoes, and her new hair products, and when he thought nobody was looking, he kissed at the air next to either of her cheeks, and said, "hi, darling," in the way of greeting, which boyfriends just...didn't do.
But that didn't necessarily mean anything, right? So maybe for a straight guy he did take too much of an active interest in shoe shopping and getting his nails done, but Lance didn't really like either of those, and he was probably as gay as they came. So it didn't make sense to Chris to say that Justin was gay, because that was basing his views on stereotypes and that was wrong.
And then he saw it - blue eyes swinging down to arc clearly across their waiter's ass.
So he thought, then, maybe he'd just ask.
"Um." Chris scratched the back of his neck, and tried to look shy and sensitive or something. "I'm gay."
Chris thought, probably, Justin would say something like, "Me too!", but instead he choked on his water.
+
A small, introductory interlude:
juniper_nyne: OMG YOU'RE DRIVING THE CRACK VAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!prurient_badger: DUDE. I KNOW! *assorted nerdish squee*prurient_badger: I'm reccing Exactly How It Never Was. Be amusing about Justin and Chris for me so I can quote you.juniper_nyne: They met, one of them fell madly in love, they had hot underage monkey sex across Germany until the one that fell in love got taller than the other one, nursing his broken heart, the taller one cut off his youthful curls in an attempt to show he was A Young Man now and could provide hot manly sex to the shorter one, however, cutting his hair instantly made him suddenly the hottest piece of boy!tail on the planet and his head was turned by all the female attention, he let himself be sucked into the maelstrom of heterosexuality and we've seen the results splashed across MTV time and again ("Like I love you baby....yeah yeah...."), now post/mid hiatus, the older one has become a recluse, realising in his advancing years that he should have held on and never let go....juniper_nyne: ...however, it remains to be seen if the younger one will grow jaded with his str8 superstardom and return to the hairy bosom of the one who loved him first and best.Hi, I'm Alix, and this month on the
crack_van we're going to be running the gamut of pairings Now go read the fic. Don't forget to get in touch with the authors if you enjoyed it.
Exactly How It Never Was
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But if I'd known you were gonna quote me for reelz, I'd've used semi-colons instead of commas. Sheesh.
Popslash rooooolz!
Ahem.
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*jealous*
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