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crack_van2006-08-23 10:56 am
embroiderama) wrote in crack_van2006-08-23 10:56 am
Entry tags:
The Prince Bridegroom by Diana Williams (NC-17)
Fandom: X-FILES
Pairing: Mulder/Skinner
Author on LJ:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
dkwilliams
Author Website: Spiral Into Diana Williams' Fiction
Why this must be read: This is a send-up of The Princess Bride recast with X-Files characters in the XF world, and it's very funny.
It has the frame story:
I cannot count the times that I have heard "The Prince Bridegroom" read aloud over the years of my life. One of us kids would start by quoting something from it - the Sword fight scene between the Dread Rebel-Alien Roberts and Byers, or the torture in the Pit of Despair, or - Well, it didn't really matter what, because we would start arguing over what the words actually were, and Granddaddy would come into the room to see what all the fuss was about. We would turn to him in appeal - Granddaddy was the ultimate authority on "The Prince Bridegroom" - and he would sigh dramatically and pull the book off the bookshelf.
It has the goofy romance:
"I love you. I know this must come as something of a surprise, since all I've ever done is taunt you and argue with you, but I have loved you for several hours now, and every second I love you more. I thought an hour ago that I loved you more than anyone ever loved a man, but a half hour after that I knew that my previous love was a thimble of water compared to a mug of coffee. Your eyes are like coffee or chocolate, did you know that? Well they are. I love you so much more now than when you opened your door, there cannot be a comparison. There is no room in my body for anything but you. My arms love you, my ears adore you, and my knees shake with blind affection. My mind begs you to ask it something so it can obey. Do you want me to follow you for the rest of your days? I will do that. Do you want me to crawl? I will crawl. I will be quiet for you or sing for you. Dearest Walter - I've never called you that before, have I? - Walter, Walter, adored Walter, whisper that I have a chance to win your love."
And the whole adventure:
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Mulder demanded, partly angry and partly frightened. Some kind of cloth had fallen on his face and he was struggling to see who his captors were. "What are you going to do with me? Kidnap me in some attempt to cause a war? Take me across a river filled with deadly shrieking eels? Haul me up some impossibly high cliff and then leave my lifeless body on the border?"
"Geez, Mulder, where do you get this stuff?" Frohike asked sarcastically.
I guess you could say it's crack!fic, but it's a lot of fun.
The Prince Bridegroom (It's the 4th story down on the page--I can't seem to link directly.)
Pairing: Mulder/Skinner
Author on LJ:
dkwilliamsAuthor Website: Spiral Into Diana Williams' Fiction
Why this must be read: This is a send-up of The Princess Bride recast with X-Files characters in the XF world, and it's very funny.
It has the frame story:
I cannot count the times that I have heard "The Prince Bridegroom" read aloud over the years of my life. One of us kids would start by quoting something from it - the Sword fight scene between the Dread Rebel-Alien Roberts and Byers, or the torture in the Pit of Despair, or - Well, it didn't really matter what, because we would start arguing over what the words actually were, and Granddaddy would come into the room to see what all the fuss was about. We would turn to him in appeal - Granddaddy was the ultimate authority on "The Prince Bridegroom" - and he would sigh dramatically and pull the book off the bookshelf.
It has the goofy romance:
"I love you. I know this must come as something of a surprise, since all I've ever done is taunt you and argue with you, but I have loved you for several hours now, and every second I love you more. I thought an hour ago that I loved you more than anyone ever loved a man, but a half hour after that I knew that my previous love was a thimble of water compared to a mug of coffee. Your eyes are like coffee or chocolate, did you know that? Well they are. I love you so much more now than when you opened your door, there cannot be a comparison. There is no room in my body for anything but you. My arms love you, my ears adore you, and my knees shake with blind affection. My mind begs you to ask it something so it can obey. Do you want me to follow you for the rest of your days? I will do that. Do you want me to crawl? I will crawl. I will be quiet for you or sing for you. Dearest Walter - I've never called you that before, have I? - Walter, Walter, adored Walter, whisper that I have a chance to win your love."
And the whole adventure:
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Mulder demanded, partly angry and partly frightened. Some kind of cloth had fallen on his face and he was struggling to see who his captors were. "What are you going to do with me? Kidnap me in some attempt to cause a war? Take me across a river filled with deadly shrieking eels? Haul me up some impossibly high cliff and then leave my lifeless body on the border?"
"Geez, Mulder, where do you get this stuff?" Frohike asked sarcastically.
I guess you could say it's crack!fic, but it's a lot of fun.
The Prince Bridegroom (It's the 4th story down on the page--I can't seem to link directly.)
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