While You Were Sleeping by Linda Cornett (NC-17)

[st-crispins.livejournal.com]

Fandom: THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E.
Pairing: Napoleon/Illya, Napoleon/Angelique
Author on LJ: lcorn
Author website: Observations
Why this must be read:

Open Channel D. [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com] here, slipping back behind the wheel again for the month of September.

First up is a witty and enormously entertaining story that finds Solo and Kuryakin in a tropical locale, sharing one tacky room and one cramped bed. Angelique happens by and when she glimpses Illya lying naked and asleep on the bed, she decides to make some mischief.

Over dinner and during a walk on the beach afterward, the Thrushwoman stimulates Solo’s libido while planting the seeds for some wicked fantasies involving his partner. Recognizing his “marvelous appetite” and his sexual adventurism, she coyly wonders aloud why Solo doesn’t vary his diet now and then. After all, man does not live by steak alone.


"Are you suggesting I have frustrated longings? Or that Illya does?"

"Well, he is lying naked on your bed."

"It's his bed, too. And he didn't have any clean clothes."

"Surely he could have borrowed a little something from you, as you're such good friends."

"Angelique, men don't loan each other their underwear." Although, come to think of it, he did travel with an extra pair of pajamas, and Illya knew it. And hadn't asked. On the other hand, Illya was casual about nudity; service in the hot, cramped quarters of a submarine didn't leave much room for modesty. Napoleon pictured rows of narrow bunks, filled with naked sailors who had all kicked off their covers. And Illya in their midst.

"So, he'd rather share a bed with you, naked, than presume the intimacy of borrowing a pair of sous vetements? I wonder if he's kicked off the sheet again?"

Solo shifted, again discomfited by her mind-reading abilities. "If he has, I'm sure it's because of the heat."

"Oh, dear, we forgot the bucket of ice from the restaurant."

"That's OK. I really don't intend to massage my partner with ice water."

"But, I thought you two manly men took care of each other when necessary."

"Tonight, Illya is perfectly capable of taking care of himself."

"In the shower, no doubt."

Solo suddenly recalled sitting in the hotel room, listening to the sounds of a lengthy shower. Of course, Illya said himself it had been a long time since his last shower and he had been very dusty. Unbidden, he pictured Illya's capable hands stroking soap lather onto his arms, across his chest, down his belly, slowly…

"Napoleon?"

"What?"

"You're crushing me again, and you had the most peculiar expression on your face...”


Solo protests but it does no good and soon he’s entertaining possibilities that he’s never considered before.

I actually checked the list twice because I couldn’t believe that no one had recc’d this story previously. It’s a classic and worth revisiting. The first time I read it, the ending was cleverly ambiguous, making the story unclassifiable. Other readers were not quite as satisfied, however, so Linda extended the narrative, and that piece appears on her site. Personally, I liked the first version because I prefer subtlety and as Solo himself demonstrates, the imagination can be a powerful thing.

So, how hot is it in fictional Santa Ana? It’s so hot that ... well, see for yourself...

While You Were Sleeping