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crack_van2004-01-18 12:25 am
espresso-addict.livejournal.com) wrote in crack_van2004-01-18 12:25 am
Entry tags:
Who Knackered Aragorn's Catamite? by Earthspot (R)
Fandom: LORD OF THE RINGS
Pairing: too many to list (het & slash)
Author on LJ: n/a
Author Website: n/a (I'm not aware of any other Earthspot stories)
Why this must be read:
Tolkien meets Raymond Chandler meets James Bond meets Agatha Christie in this witty and inventive romp through Fourth Age Middle-earth, set nearly 50 years after the end of the Ring War. WKAC features a large cast of engaging original characters, plus delightful cameos from many of the major players. The author assures us that no canon was injured in the production of this fanfiction -- but it sure as hell was stretched to the limits!
Fanfiction rarely makes me LOL, but this had me in stitches from start to finish. It's novel length (80,000 words), and should have a health warning on the front page "don't start late at night" as I guarantee you won't be able to stop! In among the jokes, there's some surprisingly serious insight into how M-e might change in the Fourth Age. It really has to be read to be believed -- please do give it a try. A smidge from the start to get you going...
"My name’s Goss. I’m a cop.
Short for Goswedriol son of Gandalf – yes, I thought that would prick your ears up. I don’t go bragging about my father’s name. Nor do I conceal it. It’s mother who’s the big secret. Though most people manage to guess.
My father once said I had about as much magic in me as a horse’s hindquarters. But he was no airy-fairy caller-in of the winds. He was a meticulous researcher, and that’s where I follow in his footsteps. I love truth. I have a passion for facts. For concealed facts. Facts which people don’t want generally noised abroad. In the course of my business I rake up a helluva lot of muck.
I don’t love muck. Alas, it loves me. Everywhere I go it sticks to me. It comes in on the heels of my knee-high boots when I enter someone’s beautifully carpeted home. It drops on me from the balconies as I pace the mean streets. It rings my door bell in the dead of night, and as I take my ear from the judas window it dribbles down my neck. Muck and I are constant companions, perennial partners, but we aren’t lovers. We aren’t even particularly good friends.
Just now I said I was a cop. But I belong to no regular force of law and order. Not the Rangers of the North, nor the agents of the Tower of Guard, nor am I one the fleet minions of the White Council. And I’m certainly not one of the shadowy agents of GUB, the secret police of the Royal Mandate of East Ithilien – the former Mordor. Though at one time or another I have done work for all these agencies.
I’m a freelancer. A bounty hunter."
Who Knackered Aragorn's Catamite?
Pairing: too many to list (het & slash)
Author on LJ: n/a
Author Website: n/a (I'm not aware of any other Earthspot stories)
Why this must be read:
Tolkien meets Raymond Chandler meets James Bond meets Agatha Christie in this witty and inventive romp through Fourth Age Middle-earth, set nearly 50 years after the end of the Ring War. WKAC features a large cast of engaging original characters, plus delightful cameos from many of the major players. The author assures us that no canon was injured in the production of this fanfiction -- but it sure as hell was stretched to the limits!
Fanfiction rarely makes me LOL, but this had me in stitches from start to finish. It's novel length (80,000 words), and should have a health warning on the front page "don't start late at night" as I guarantee you won't be able to stop! In among the jokes, there's some surprisingly serious insight into how M-e might change in the Fourth Age. It really has to be read to be believed -- please do give it a try. A smidge from the start to get you going...
"My name’s Goss. I’m a cop.
Short for Goswedriol son of Gandalf – yes, I thought that would prick your ears up. I don’t go bragging about my father’s name. Nor do I conceal it. It’s mother who’s the big secret. Though most people manage to guess.
My father once said I had about as much magic in me as a horse’s hindquarters. But he was no airy-fairy caller-in of the winds. He was a meticulous researcher, and that’s where I follow in his footsteps. I love truth. I have a passion for facts. For concealed facts. Facts which people don’t want generally noised abroad. In the course of my business I rake up a helluva lot of muck.
I don’t love muck. Alas, it loves me. Everywhere I go it sticks to me. It comes in on the heels of my knee-high boots when I enter someone’s beautifully carpeted home. It drops on me from the balconies as I pace the mean streets. It rings my door bell in the dead of night, and as I take my ear from the judas window it dribbles down my neck. Muck and I are constant companions, perennial partners, but we aren’t lovers. We aren’t even particularly good friends.
Just now I said I was a cop. But I belong to no regular force of law and order. Not the Rangers of the North, nor the agents of the Tower of Guard, nor am I one the fleet minions of the White Council. And I’m certainly not one of the shadowy agents of GUB, the secret police of the Royal Mandate of East Ithilien – the former Mordor. Though at one time or another I have done work for all these agencies.
I’m a freelancer. A bounty hunter."
Who Knackered Aragorn's Catamite?
no subject
no subject