Dots by Melissa2u (R)

[lydia-petze.livejournal.com]

Fandom: U2
Pairing: Adam Clayton/Larry Mullen, Jr
Author on LJ: melissa2u
Author Website: Love is Blindness or u2slash, and please note, to join you must be over eighteen years of age AND have your birth year on your profile page.
Why this must be read:

Larry's drawing Adam a map. Adam just needs to connect the dots. And with this simple premise, away we go on that sort of gentle, loving story that this fandom turns out so well. Larry is a man of few words - he's more about deeds and even people who've known him forever are sometimes running to catch up with what's going on in his head and his heart.

Twenty-odd years ago, Adam was there when Larry needed to lean on him, and, in his own quiet way, Larry's trying to tell Adam that he needs him again. This story makes marginal use of the real-life drama the guys had when they were young - by tragic coincidence, both Larry's and Bono's mothers died suddenly when the boys were only in their teens. In this story, another loss, less sudden but no less painful, threatens to overtake Larry, who's borne it alone for too long. Adam blames himself for not seeing it sooner; Larry's stoicism has carried him this far, but no further, and he's thankful when he can finally let it go. And just because Larry doesn't talk much doesn't mean he doesn't talk ever, it just means a lot more when he eventually does.

This is a story that is all about the meaning of friendship, what happens when a lifelong love is suddenly realised, and a little h/c besides.



"You've always been... interesting."

There's that word again.

"From the first time I saw you, I knew I wanted to be around you. You were so cool and confident. I'd never met anyone like you. It was like you were above all the crap."

He's told me this before. It still doesn't-

"Then I realized how much of that confidence was really bullshit. Didn't matter though, you were still okay for the most part."

This would have been around the time...oh.

"I didn't really think you would come over that night. All my other friends were more than happy to fuck off like I told them to. But you... you ignored what I said and came over anyway."

He shakes his head slightly and takes the smoke from me again.

"Bono or Edge would have done the same."

Familiar curl of his upper lip as he hands the cigarette back to me.

"I would have expected something like that from Bono. Edge, well, he would have come over and played his guitar or talked about nothing. You... I don't know, for some reason, I had thought that if I told you to leave me alone, you would. Instead you brought me here and bled yourself out."

It wasn't like that.

"It was just talk Larry."

Quick snort and half smile as he shakes his head again.

"No. You told me a lot more than you think you did. I saw what was under the bullshit."

One last puff for me; he can have the rest.

"I don't even recall what all I said."

He finishes the cigarette and tosses the filter into the flames.

"I remember a little of it. For the most part, it was more a feeling that some things that seemed offhand were really important to you. It got me thinking and I promised myself to be the friend you needed me to be."

And we did become better friends.

"Thank you for keeping that promise."

He returns my smile for a few seconds before looking away. Another deep sigh as he runs a hand over his hair.

"Adam, I can't tell you when or where or how. I wish I could. I want to tell you the exact moment but I can't. You know how, at end of drink night, we all hug before going home? Well, one night, I was about halfway home when I realized that when I told you I loved you, I meant I really loved you. But I don't know when that changed, only when I realized it. That make any sense?"

I nod my understanding. When he gets talking, it's usually best to let him have at it. And I can't shake the feeling that he's a bit afraid.

"I won't get all maudlin and shit. I just want you to know; I've thought about this for a long time. Thought about you."

More like drove himself mad carefully considering all the angles and possible outcomes.

"The only conclusion I could reach was that I've always loved you, one way or another."



Dots