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crack_van2007-01-12 11:23 am
gardendoor.livejournal.com) wrote in crack_van2007-01-12 11:23 am
Entry tags:
Occasional Table by Predatrix (NC-17)
Fandom: HARRY POTTER
Pairing: Harry/Snape
Author on LJ:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
predatrix
Author Website: Predatrix's Little Corner of the Universe
Why this must be read:
No one does crackfic quite like Predatrix, and this is one of my favorites for sheer inventiveness. After much hard work, Snape discovers that he doesn't have an Animagus form. Instead, surprisingly, he's an Inanimagus, able to turn himself into various objects with mixed success. Which leads to much hilarity and the most filthy, delicious sex anyone has ever had with a dress robe...
Eventually, he felt the dizziness of a new shape taking hold.
What would he be? A cat (black)? A serpent (black, with a dull green lozenge pattern)? A nice glossy raven (black)? A fire-breathing dragon (black)? He liked black. It went with everything and didn't show the dirt. Passionately, he wished that he didn't have to turn into anything colourful.
He opened his eyes, except he didn't seem to have any. It was more of a focusing of attention. Having focused, he realised he was an ebony bookcase full of books (black).
Struggling to view his own contents (which felt rather like trying to look over his shoulder), he noticed: Potions Accidents Through The Ages (oh yes, that was the one with the green dripping skin conditions), Moste Potente Potions, One Is Fun (which seemed to be some godawful Muggle cookery book), History of Quidditch (and pray what is that doing in my shelves? he thought, looking at all twenty volumes), Swish and Flick (and what on earth is a pornographic magazine doing stuck between my volumes? he thought), most of the other Potions references he'd ever heard of (including The Joy of Potions) and 101 Uses for Slime (which he approved of, it being practical and repulsive at the same time).
He wondered whether to delete Swish and Flick from his shelf-space. He was nearly sure he could, but he didn't quite like to, in case it stood for any part of his anatomy that he might not use often but didn't want to lose anyway.
Occasional Table
Pairing: Harry/Snape
Author on LJ:
predatrixAuthor Website: Predatrix's Little Corner of the Universe
Why this must be read:
No one does crackfic quite like Predatrix, and this is one of my favorites for sheer inventiveness. After much hard work, Snape discovers that he doesn't have an Animagus form. Instead, surprisingly, he's an Inanimagus, able to turn himself into various objects with mixed success. Which leads to much hilarity and the most filthy, delicious sex anyone has ever had with a dress robe...
Eventually, he felt the dizziness of a new shape taking hold.
What would he be? A cat (black)? A serpent (black, with a dull green lozenge pattern)? A nice glossy raven (black)? A fire-breathing dragon (black)? He liked black. It went with everything and didn't show the dirt. Passionately, he wished that he didn't have to turn into anything colourful.
He opened his eyes, except he didn't seem to have any. It was more of a focusing of attention. Having focused, he realised he was an ebony bookcase full of books (black).
Struggling to view his own contents (which felt rather like trying to look over his shoulder), he noticed: Potions Accidents Through The Ages (oh yes, that was the one with the green dripping skin conditions), Moste Potente Potions, One Is Fun (which seemed to be some godawful Muggle cookery book), History of Quidditch (and pray what is that doing in my shelves? he thought, looking at all twenty volumes), Swish and Flick (and what on earth is a pornographic magazine doing stuck between my volumes? he thought), most of the other Potions references he'd ever heard of (including The Joy of Potions) and 101 Uses for Slime (which he approved of, it being practical and repulsive at the same time).
He wondered whether to delete Swish and Flick from his shelf-space. He was nearly sure he could, but he didn't quite like to, in case it stood for any part of his anatomy that he might not use often but didn't want to lose anyway.
Occasional Table
no subject
:)
*Goes to re-read*
no subject