My Life in Black and White by Paddy (NC-17)

[gardendoor.livejournal.com]

Fandom: SENTINEL
Pairing: Jim/Blair
Author Website: Story found at 852 Prospect
Why this must be read:

Jim and Blair meet as college students. And Jim's whole conception of himself crumbles on two fronts.

I know what gay guys do. At least, I think I do. Every all-American insult includes a reference: 'cocksucker'; 'shove it up your ass;' 'buttfucker.' I can't actually imagine the mechanics of it, don't really want to. I just want to have Sandburg on his back looking up at me. Beyond that, the details are grey.

Those feelings don't fit into my neat black-or-white world. I don't know what to do with them. No rule applies here.

I'm not gay, real men aren't. Gays are worse than freaks, my old man said so. If I said, 'hey, Sandburg, I think about touching you,' he'd lean forward in his intense way and start talking. And by the time he finished, I'd believe that black was white, white was black, grey was beautiful, and nothing was against the rules.

My Life in Black and White

Comments

[gillyp.livejournal.com]

Aw, this was very nice indeed. I love a good AU/couldabeen where Jim and Blair ae still so completely themselves.

Thanks for the rec.

[gardendoor.livejournal.com]

When this came out a couple years ago, it just completely blew me away. I was shocked that it hadn't been recced yet!