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crack_van2007-02-22 07:26 am
withdiamonds.livejournal.com) wrote in crack_van2007-02-22 07:26 am
The Sound of Pop Music by ducks (PG-13)
Fandom: POPSLASH
Pairing: Chris/Justin
Author on LJ:![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
_ducks
Author's website:
Why this must be read: Popslash has a well-deserved reputation for fabulous crack-fic, and this is a prime example. It's also something I just recently discovered, and it's one of the funniest things I've ever read. It's the sparkly-cast version of The Sound of Music, starring Justin TImberlake as Maria and Chris Kirkpatrick as the Captain. Of course. And Joey as the best Mother Superior you're ever going to meet. So join with both NSYNC and Backstreet as they sing their way to freedom from the Nazis.
Instead of the stupid ball game Auntie Ms. Harless Dettweiler suggests they practice the singing. If by ‘suggests’ you mean ‘demands’. But that’s allowable on account of everyone likes Auntie Ms. Harless Dettweiler, what with the chocolate she always brings and the whispered promises of fame and fortune and everything. So JC picks up the guitar, but it feels heavy and unfriendly in his hands, and they start to get in tune.
“Christina, Nick, AJ, why aren’t you singing, sweethearts?” Auntie Ms. Harless Dettweiler says.
“I have laryngitis,” Nick says.
“I have the plague,” Christina says.
AJ just glares.
“Come on, come on.” Auntie Ms. Harless Dettweiler says. “Think of the stage! The lights! The audience cheering! Right. Let’s start with something cheerful.”
JC strums a few notes and they start singing Baby One More Time, but it comes out kind of sad. Halfway through he notices the captain’s standing in the doorway of the house, watching them, and he looks almost like it hurts him to hear it.
They stop singing when Howie bursts into tears. Howie’s always bursting into tears nowadays. It’s the pressure of trying to be nice to the baroness when everyone else is bitching about her behind her back. Howie’s always been way too sweet for his own good.
“When’s Justin coming back?” he says, between sobs.
“He isn’t, frogface, I already told you,” the captain says gently, and he must be getting soft because he hasn’t called anybody frogface in years.
“He didn’t tell us,” Christina pouts. “He didn’t say goodbye or anything.”
“He wrote it down,” the captain says. “We’re not fucking talking about this again. He isn’t coming back, there’s nothing we can do about it, case closed. We’ll be alright.”
He doesn’t sound sure.
“We’re not getting another governess,” Nick says icily.
The captain puts an arm around the baroness’s waist. “No,” he says. “You won’t need one. We’re going to get married.”
Oh. That sounds depressingly permanent.
Nobody says anything for a minute, and then Howie nudges Brian, and Brian elbows Christina, and Christina pinches Britney’s arm, and Britney kicks Nick in the ankle, and Nick prods JC forward.
“Um,” JC says to the baroness, who is looking expectantly at him. “Congratulations.”
“Congratulations,” the other kids echo, less than enthusiastically (except AJ, who is still mutely glaring). The baroness smiles. JC is pleased to note it looks rather forced.
“Okay,” says the captain. “Go ... plot my unfortunate demise or whatever it is that you do.”
They don’t have to be asked twice. Immediate junior Von Trapp meeting, by the beech tree, and it’s obvious there’s only one way forward.
The Sound of Pop Music
Pairing: Chris/Justin
Author on LJ:
_ducks Author's website:
Why this must be read: Popslash has a well-deserved reputation for fabulous crack-fic, and this is a prime example. It's also something I just recently discovered, and it's one of the funniest things I've ever read. It's the sparkly-cast version of The Sound of Music, starring Justin TImberlake as Maria and Chris Kirkpatrick as the Captain. Of course. And Joey as the best Mother Superior you're ever going to meet. So join with both NSYNC and Backstreet as they sing their way to freedom from the Nazis.
Instead of the stupid ball game Auntie Ms. Harless Dettweiler suggests they practice the singing. If by ‘suggests’ you mean ‘demands’. But that’s allowable on account of everyone likes Auntie Ms. Harless Dettweiler, what with the chocolate she always brings and the whispered promises of fame and fortune and everything. So JC picks up the guitar, but it feels heavy and unfriendly in his hands, and they start to get in tune.
“Christina, Nick, AJ, why aren’t you singing, sweethearts?” Auntie Ms. Harless Dettweiler says.
“I have laryngitis,” Nick says.
“I have the plague,” Christina says.
AJ just glares.
“Come on, come on.” Auntie Ms. Harless Dettweiler says. “Think of the stage! The lights! The audience cheering! Right. Let’s start with something cheerful.”
JC strums a few notes and they start singing Baby One More Time, but it comes out kind of sad. Halfway through he notices the captain’s standing in the doorway of the house, watching them, and he looks almost like it hurts him to hear it.
They stop singing when Howie bursts into tears. Howie’s always bursting into tears nowadays. It’s the pressure of trying to be nice to the baroness when everyone else is bitching about her behind her back. Howie’s always been way too sweet for his own good.
“When’s Justin coming back?” he says, between sobs.
“He isn’t, frogface, I already told you,” the captain says gently, and he must be getting soft because he hasn’t called anybody frogface in years.
“He didn’t tell us,” Christina pouts. “He didn’t say goodbye or anything.”
“He wrote it down,” the captain says. “We’re not fucking talking about this again. He isn’t coming back, there’s nothing we can do about it, case closed. We’ll be alright.”
He doesn’t sound sure.
“We’re not getting another governess,” Nick says icily.
The captain puts an arm around the baroness’s waist. “No,” he says. “You won’t need one. We’re going to get married.”
Oh. That sounds depressingly permanent.
Nobody says anything for a minute, and then Howie nudges Brian, and Brian elbows Christina, and Christina pinches Britney’s arm, and Britney kicks Nick in the ankle, and Nick prods JC forward.
“Um,” JC says to the baroness, who is looking expectantly at him. “Congratulations.”
“Congratulations,” the other kids echo, less than enthusiastically (except AJ, who is still mutely glaring). The baroness smiles. JC is pleased to note it looks rather forced.
“Okay,” says the captain. “Go ... plot my unfortunate demise or whatever it is that you do.”
They don’t have to be asked twice. Immediate junior Von Trapp meeting, by the beech tree, and it’s obvious there’s only one way forward.
The Sound of Pop Music