The Comedie of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark by reina_isabella (G)

[sarah531.livejournal.com]

Fandom: Doctor Who
Pairing: None
Author on LJ: reina_isabella
Author website: None
Why this must be read: It's the Doctor meeting Hamlet. In iambic pentameter. You shouldn't need more of a reason.


HAMLET
Where wilt thou lead me? speak; I'll go no further
Until I know how you be called.

DOCTOR
Call me the Doctor.

HAMLET
Gladly, O Physician.

DOCTOR
Nay, just the Doctor will be fine.
I must speak quickly and may not linger here.

HAMLET
Alas, poor spectre! Is the time so short
Wherein you may walk upon the earth?

DOCTOR
Not a bit of it. I'm freezing my tits off
And within yon ship, my tea is getting cold.
Pity me not, but lend thy serious hearing
To what I shall unfold.

HAMLET
Speak; I am bound to hear.

DOCTOR
So art thou to revenge, when thou shalt hear.

HAMLET
What?

DOCTOR
O look, sorry, that was a bit dramatic,
Was it not?
And all this hovering and disappearing
Night after endless night, was not in my intent;
But that the TARDIS did refuse again to shew
The date exact, that I might know correct -
Well, 'tis a long story. Mind you,
I could a tale unfold whose lightest word
Would gobsmack thee, freeze thy young blood,
Make thy two eyes, like stars, start from their spheres,
And each particular hair to stand on end,
Like quills upon the fretful porpentine:
Do you even have porpentines in Denmark?
Never mind. List, list, O, list!
If thou didst ever thy dear father love--

HAMLET
O God!

DOCTOR
What? O yes, if you like. But of thy father:
Revenge his foul and most unnatural murder.

HAMLET
Murder!

DOCTOR
That is what I said.
Murder most foul, as in the best it is;
But this most foul, strange and unnatural.
You're not going to believe this one.


The Comedie of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark