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crack_van2007-06-09 01:06 pm
malabud.livejournal.com) wrote in crack_van2007-06-09 01:06 pm
Entry tags:
The Tragedie of the Death of Lord Voldemort by Rowen R (PG)
Hello! I'm Malabud, and I'm back to rec Harry Potter once more. I'm also the lucky person who gets the to drive the HP ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
crack_van the last time before canon is closed forever. So, relish these fics, my friends, because who knows? Once Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows comes out, you may never want to read HP fanfic again! (Let's hope not.)
Fandom: HARRY POTTER
Pairing: Gen
Length: 2,200 words
Author on LJ:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
rowen_r
Author Website: Unknown
Why this must be read:
The real name of this fic is "The Most Grievous and Lamentable Tragedie of The Death of Lord Voldemort: A Small Play in Three Acts," but I couldn't fit it all on the subject line. The title is probably the best summary of the fic you'll find.
Do you enjoy Shakespeare? Do you like Harry Potter? Then this fic is for you! Even if you have only a passing familiarity to Shakespeare's works, this fic is hilariously funny. There are innumerable allusions to Shakespeare throughout the fic, and it works surprisingly well. I cannot do it justice in this brief plug. Though this fic was written pre-HBP, it still is a fun read. Read the excerpt below and then go read the whole thing.
* * *
Enter Harry, looking cross (as usual)
Harry:
Here stand I victim of a monstrous crime:
My mum and dad both killed before their time!
And Sirius has sadly bought it too!
Oh, deeply I my wretched fortune rue;
I angst, I mope, I weep, and I repine –
IT’S EVERYBODY’S FAULT APART FROM MINE!
[He takes a deep breath and counts to ten, just like they taught him in those anger management classes Dumbledore insisted on sending him to]
Yet I will have my vengeance ere I die
Our play’s events will show I do not lie!
Exit Harry
Enter Voldemort apparelled richly, with Bellatrix, Nagini, and Snape, the spy
Voldemort:
[In a manner suggestive of profound, puppy-kicking evil] Ha! Ha!
Our action ‘gainst old Dumbledore proceeds
With lots of pointless violence and due speed
Like Britt’ny Spears I’ll conquer all the world –
But one regret yet taints my proud content:
For still the whelp, young Potter, wanders free.
Oi, Snape and Bella, I despatch you now:
Seek out the brat, and bring him back to me,
That I may murder him. Ah! Happy day!
When Potter stands before me, then will I
Despatch him with a most dramatic flair:
‘Twill be a fun and nifty thing to do!
Snape:
My Lord, I share your wish to slay the brat
(He’s stupid, whiny, and a total arse)
Yet must remind you – in our past attempts
He’s thwarted all our plans and got away.
Perhaps ‘tis fate that aids him, or perhaps
Your trusty servants are a little thick,
But either way, he beats us every time.
Voldemort:
Be silent, greasy one!
Bellatrix:
Yeah, shut it, Snape!
In times gone by, ‘tis true we’ve tried and failed
But this I pledge, by Hell and my pure blood
This time we’ll be successful. Snape and I
And Lucius, if he’s back from the salon,
And maybe Crabbe and Goyle, for light relief
Will seek the brat, and bring him to you straight,
Or perish in our glorious attempt!
Voldemort:
‘Tis good.
Snape:
[aside] ‘Tisn’t.
The Most Grievous and Lamentable Tragedie of The Death of Lord Voldemort: A Small Play in Three Acts
crack_van the last time before canon is closed forever. So, relish these fics, my friends, because who knows? Once Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows comes out, you may never want to read HP fanfic again! (Let's hope not.)Fandom: HARRY POTTER
Pairing: Gen
Length: 2,200 words
Author on LJ:
rowen_rAuthor Website: Unknown
Why this must be read:
The real name of this fic is "The Most Grievous and Lamentable Tragedie of The Death of Lord Voldemort: A Small Play in Three Acts," but I couldn't fit it all on the subject line. The title is probably the best summary of the fic you'll find.
Do you enjoy Shakespeare? Do you like Harry Potter? Then this fic is for you! Even if you have only a passing familiarity to Shakespeare's works, this fic is hilariously funny. There are innumerable allusions to Shakespeare throughout the fic, and it works surprisingly well. I cannot do it justice in this brief plug. Though this fic was written pre-HBP, it still is a fun read. Read the excerpt below and then go read the whole thing.
* * *
Enter Harry, looking cross (as usual)
Harry:
Here stand I victim of a monstrous crime:
My mum and dad both killed before their time!
And Sirius has sadly bought it too!
Oh, deeply I my wretched fortune rue;
I angst, I mope, I weep, and I repine –
IT’S EVERYBODY’S FAULT APART FROM MINE!
[He takes a deep breath and counts to ten, just like they taught him in those anger management classes Dumbledore insisted on sending him to]
Yet I will have my vengeance ere I die
Our play’s events will show I do not lie!
Exit Harry
Enter Voldemort apparelled richly, with Bellatrix, Nagini, and Snape, the spy
Voldemort:
[In a manner suggestive of profound, puppy-kicking evil] Ha! Ha!
Our action ‘gainst old Dumbledore proceeds
With lots of pointless violence and due speed
Like Britt’ny Spears I’ll conquer all the world –
But one regret yet taints my proud content:
For still the whelp, young Potter, wanders free.
Oi, Snape and Bella, I despatch you now:
Seek out the brat, and bring him back to me,
That I may murder him. Ah! Happy day!
When Potter stands before me, then will I
Despatch him with a most dramatic flair:
‘Twill be a fun and nifty thing to do!
Snape:
My Lord, I share your wish to slay the brat
(He’s stupid, whiny, and a total arse)
Yet must remind you – in our past attempts
He’s thwarted all our plans and got away.
Perhaps ‘tis fate that aids him, or perhaps
Your trusty servants are a little thick,
But either way, he beats us every time.
Voldemort:
Be silent, greasy one!
Bellatrix:
Yeah, shut it, Snape!
In times gone by, ‘tis true we’ve tried and failed
But this I pledge, by Hell and my pure blood
This time we’ll be successful. Snape and I
And Lucius, if he’s back from the salon,
And maybe Crabbe and Goyle, for light relief
Will seek the brat, and bring him to you straight,
Or perish in our glorious attempt!
Voldemort:
‘Tis good.
Snape:
[aside] ‘Tisn’t.
The Most Grievous and Lamentable Tragedie of The Death of Lord Voldemort: A Small Play in Three Acts