crack_van | 'Apocalypse Soon-ish' by Phil Foster (PG)

(or Days of Future Last Tuesday Evening, Just Before the Football)

Fandom: X-MEN COMICVERSE
Pairing: No focus, but canon pairings mentioned
Author Website: None, but other works can be found at Fonts of Wisdom
Why this must be read:

I'm afraid I have a penchant for fic with really long titles. They're really worth the reading, though.

Apocalypse Soon-ish is a parody fic written as a re-telling of Marvel's "Days of Future Past" timeline with full knowledge of the over-done angst and the mind-melting plot twists inherent to Marvel, all the while poking fun at it all in a way that only a fanfic can. The whole thing is done in a Bible-ish testament style with chapters, verses, and more 'thee's and 'eth's and 'verily's than you can shake a stick at, but still has some very amusing references to current society.

You know what? If I keep writing, I'll spoil the fic for you. Go spend the 20 minutes or so and take a glance at the excerpt. I'll hazard a guess that even if you've got very little background with the fandom, you'll find this fic amusing.

Excerpt

5. And the child En Sabah Nur did learn the great teachings, and study the
great scholars. And even though he gaineth the BsC in Physics and Astronomy,
still only he getteth the job in McDonalds, and he was wroth.

6. And it happened that he grew angry, and he did cast himself out from his
job and his family, swearing a mighty oath as he did so
"Bugger the bloody fries!!! Sod the Chicken Burgers!!! I've had enough!!!"

7. And it did happen that he took upon himself the name of Apocalypse,
meaning 'He who no longer wipes tables' and did swear revenge upon the
teachers and scholars of Egypt.

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