crack_van | Planes, Trains, and Bullies, by OughtaKnowBetter (PG13)

Fandom: NUMB3RS
Characters: Charlie, Don, Colby and the FBI team
Length: Long, 63,919 words
Author on LJ: Unknown
Author Website: CalSci Library, Fanfiction.net listing
Why this must be read:

Road trip! Road trip from Hell!

Charlie's consulting assignment in Washington DC is so sensitive that Colby is assigned to protect him. You think the danger is over after Charlie solves their problem? You think wrong. OughtaKnowBetter writes vivid prose with a wry, dry sense of humor. She takes us on an edge-of-your-seat Perils of Pauline roller-coaster ride. And then she ups the ante. Wheeeee!

Take a test ride.

So here it was, almost one o'clock in the afternoon on Tuesday, and Colby and Charlie were due to land back in L.A. in another hour. Colby had called ahead; the meeting between Charlie and whoever in the NSA had gone like clockwork -- unlike Don's meeting with Fat Manny -- and the pair had gotten back onto the return flight as scheduled. Charlie hadn't even brought any work back with him, said that he'd been able to complete the task while there, and that The Powers That Be were ecstatic to have their problem solved so quickly. Score one for Mr. Mathematics, and, Charlie smirked, another fat government-issued paycheck would be clearing his account very soon. The whole trip had been uneventful, Colby had said while waiting for the plane to take off from the Reagan National. He'd still keep an eye out for anyone looking to snatch Charlie, but it seemed a bit pointless now that the job was done. Even Charlie was planning on working on Friday's Advanced Diff EQ lecture on the flight home, just to pass the time. Colby had a crossword puzzle, the one that he hadn't finished on the flight to D.C.

"Don," Megan called from her desk, hanging up the phone with a puzzled frown on her face. "Director's looking for you. Head up to his office."

What was that all about? Don sighed. Director pissed because Fat Manny's lawyers had been able to delay the inevitable yet again? Not Don's fault, and the director knew it. Another high profile assignment, one that hadn't hit the local tabloids? More likely. Don trotted up the stairs, suspecting that he wouldn't have time for his usual work out later on this evening, using the stairs as his back-up plan to keep himself in shape.

Don knew that there was something very wrong the moment he stepped into Area Director D'Angelo's office. There was something very very wrong, and it involved Don himself. The Area Director had a poker face to bluff an opponent with a royal flush lying on the table in front of him, but Don could still read it in his eyes.

"Don, you deserve to hear about this first..."

Planes, Trains, and Bullies