crack_van | Devious Devices, by nepthys

FANDOM: LIFE ON MARS
AUTHOR:

nepthys_uk
AUTHOR’S FIC SITE: Nepthys_UK’s LJ
PAIRING: Sam/Gene
WHY THIS MUST BE READ: It’s meta, and she says it’s crack, and I suppose it is. But it’s almost beyond crack, really. There are places where a lot of authors would have turned and made certain things into one-off jokes, but not here! It’s meta, and crack, but serious crack. It’s quite astounding. One of the reasons I love this fandom as much as I do is that for the most part, people don’t take themselves too seriously…and here’s a prime example of fandom laughing at itself. Brilliantly done.

“I have to do what?!” Sam’s face twisted into an expression of mingled disbelief and disgust.

The criminal mastermind sighed. “It’s really very simple, DI Tyler.”

“Hang on, hang on - let me get this straight. You’ve knocked me out--”

“I didn’t think you’d come quietly.”

“—tied me up—”

“Yes, but you do look so appealing in handcuffs.”

“—and now you’re telling me that unless I do what you say, Gene – DCI Hunt - will die?”

“That’s right.”

“A horrible, agonising death?”

“Yes.”

“And to save him I have to….?”

“Have sex with him.”

“What?!”

“Preferably in the manner of sex-crazed weasels who haven’t had it away for months.”

Sam spluttered for a moment. “But why?”

“Well, because it’s more entertaining than if you just have a boring old lie-back-and-think-of-England shag…”