Two Men in a Boat by Di T (R)

[vysila.livejournal.com]

Fandom: MAN FROM UNCLE
Pairing: Illya/Napoleon
Author on LJ: dinahmt
Author Website: None, but you can find her work at File 40, the big MfU fanfiction archive
Why this must be read: There's something very evocative about time spent on shipboard, the way it cocoons the passengers within an intimate isolation that transcends time and place - and even reality. A built-in romance factor, if you will. In this instance, Napoleon and Illya are in dire need of a relaxing holiday away from their work and decide to spend a few days on Napoleon's sailboat. Of course they get more than they bargain for...

The jaunt starts out pleasantly, but the intimacy of seeing an unfamiliar and unguarded side of his partner affects Napoleon in an unexpected way, disturbing many of the certainties in his universe. The sea change in Napoleon's feelings is paralleled by an equally abrupt turn of the weather, and when Napoleon is swept overboard, nothing will ever be the same again - not on this holiday and certainly not in their lives.

Di T weaves a touching, often humorous and occasionally heart-breaking tale of two men foundering for direction in the wake of these storms.


Then he went over to his sleeping partner and kissed him on the forehead.

Illya snapped awake and lashed out, hitting Solo on the nose. With a yelp of pain and surprise, Napoleon fell backwards against the bench seat. His nose poured blood down the front of his tee-shirt. Illya leapt to his feet, wild-eyed. He regarded his injured partner with dismay.

“Napoleon! What are you doing? I could have killed you!”

“Ow! I’m not sure you haven’t. I may die yet.” Napoleon dabbed at his poor nose with his ruined tee-shirt. His eyes were watering. “What made you do that? Look at me,” he complained.

“Bozhe moy! You know better than to startle me when I’m asleep. Have you gone mad?”

Napoleon knew he was right. Waking a Section 2 agent was a task to be approached with caution. He would have reacted the same. He said nothing but scrambled to his feet and went into the head to attend to his injury, leaving Illya guiltily watching him.

When he came out, minus the tee-shirt and with the bleeding stemmed with a towel, his remorseful partner had assembled breakfast and was boiling up water for tea.

His head was down and he looked at Solo through golden lashes. “I’m really very sorry.” He meant it.

Solo dabbed at his nose again with the towel. “It’s OK. I’ll live.”

Illya was still mortified. “No I really mean it. It was an automatic reaction. You know I wouldn’t hurt you.”

“Yes I know. I accept your apology. Now let’s just drop it shall we?”

But Illya persisted. “What got into you? Why did you startle me?”

Napoleon sighed. “Well if you must know, I wanted to wake my lover with a kiss.”

“Lover!” Illya almost squeaked.

“You don’t call what we did yesterday love?” Now Napoleon was genuinely puzzled. Had Illya forgotten the passion they had shared?

The water boiled and Illya made the tea in silence. His lips compressed and he looked uncomfortable. He handed the mug labelled ‘Captain’ to his partner and sat down opposite. His mug had ‘First Mate’ written on the side.

“Well?’ asked Solo, impatiently.

Illya dropped his gaze to the floor. He put both hands round the mug as if warming them. “I don’t know,” he mumbled.

“But you’re not telling me you didn’t enjoy it, what we did?” Napoleon could not understand why his partner was being so evasive.


I hope you enjoy this story as much as I do.

Two Men in a Boat