tejas (![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
tejas.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
crack_van2009-05-11 03:59 am
tejas.livejournal.com) wrote in crack_van2009-05-11 03:59 am
Entry tags:
Debriefing Series, by Eos (PG-13 - NC-17)
Fandom: STARGATE SG1
Pairing: Jack/Daniel, Teal'c/Female, Sam/Surprise
Length: ~63KB (total of all six parts)
Author on LJ: not that I'm aware of
Author Website: http://www.pandemonium.me.uk/eos/eosindex.htm or her page on Area52.
Why this must be read:
These are oldies, but goodies. You know how it is when life gets you down. The boss is being a jerk, the SO is whining, and the kids have all remembered at 10:00 PM the night before that huge project is due that they need a pound of unobtainium and you can't decide if drinking yourself into a stupor or just running away to join the circus would be the most rational course of action?
That's when you pull out this series. Debriefing is the purest, high-grade crack on the market. It is to weep, and you'll probably laugh until you do. The series features the classic team along with Frasier, Hammond and Walter, doing what he does best - keeping the SGC running despite the madness - with cameos by Major Davis and Siler.
The first story, Aliens Made Me Do It pretty much sets the tone for those to come. Five of the six stories gives us a mission debriefing that SciFi would never have been able to air (Showtime, on the other hand, might have eaten this up :-). In one, Eos shows us what happens when the Pentagon attempts an investigation.
"I'm just saying I don't see how you can blame me for fucking Jack senseless," Daniel argued. "The aliens *made* me do it."
"No way," Jack protested.
"The aliens didn't make you do it?" Hammond asked.
"No.wh--huh?" Jack said.
"Senseless," Daniel repeated, gesturing at Jack as his proof.
"Not senseless," Jack said quickly.
"Oh, please," Sam said disdainfully. "It was ten minutes before you could remember your own name. Twenty before you could actually say it."
"Was not," Jack said, sitting up and throwing his chest out.
"You found god," Daniel said smugly.
"Thor had nothing to do with it."
"Are you sure?" Sam asked Jack.
"Do not ruin this for me," Jack told Sam.
"They do sound alike," Teal'c observed, ignoring Jack's glare. "Especially when Daniel Jackson is about to.."
"They are two distinctly separate individuals," Jack interrupted. "Thor--little gray butt, no dick. Daniel--firm, tight butt and big.."
"Colonel!" Hammond said sharply. "It's becoming quite obvious that you've been compromised."
"Quite thoroughly, too, by my examination," Dr. Fraiser added. Daniel gave Jack a self-satisfied smile. Jack gave him an angry stare.for about six seconds, after which his tongue slid out of his mouth and he panted like a bitch in heat.
So, go. Read. Laugh until you cry and bookmark this. As they say, laughter is the best medicine.
Aliens Made Me Do It
Love Among The Stars
Curse Of The Black Widow
I'm a Jaffa And You're Not
Inquiring Minds Want To Know
Debriefing: Ho, Ho, Huh?
Pairing: Jack/Daniel, Teal'c/Female, Sam/Surprise
Length: ~63KB (total of all six parts)
Author on LJ: not that I'm aware of
Author Website: http://www.pandemonium.me.uk/eos/eosindex.htm or her page on Area52.
Why this must be read:
These are oldies, but goodies. You know how it is when life gets you down. The boss is being a jerk, the SO is whining, and the kids have all remembered at 10:00 PM the night before that huge project is due that they need a pound of unobtainium and you can't decide if drinking yourself into a stupor or just running away to join the circus would be the most rational course of action?
That's when you pull out this series. Debriefing is the purest, high-grade crack on the market. It is to weep, and you'll probably laugh until you do. The series features the classic team along with Frasier, Hammond and Walter, doing what he does best - keeping the SGC running despite the madness - with cameos by Major Davis and Siler.
The first story, Aliens Made Me Do It pretty much sets the tone for those to come. Five of the six stories gives us a mission debriefing that SciFi would never have been able to air (Showtime, on the other hand, might have eaten this up :-). In one, Eos shows us what happens when the Pentagon attempts an investigation.
"I'm just saying I don't see how you can blame me for fucking Jack senseless," Daniel argued. "The aliens *made* me do it."
"No way," Jack protested.
"The aliens didn't make you do it?" Hammond asked.
"No.wh--huh?" Jack said.
"Senseless," Daniel repeated, gesturing at Jack as his proof.
"Not senseless," Jack said quickly.
"Oh, please," Sam said disdainfully. "It was ten minutes before you could remember your own name. Twenty before you could actually say it."
"Was not," Jack said, sitting up and throwing his chest out.
"You found god," Daniel said smugly.
"Thor had nothing to do with it."
"Are you sure?" Sam asked Jack.
"Do not ruin this for me," Jack told Sam.
"They do sound alike," Teal'c observed, ignoring Jack's glare. "Especially when Daniel Jackson is about to.."
"They are two distinctly separate individuals," Jack interrupted. "Thor--little gray butt, no dick. Daniel--firm, tight butt and big.."
"Colonel!" Hammond said sharply. "It's becoming quite obvious that you've been compromised."
"Quite thoroughly, too, by my examination," Dr. Fraiser added. Daniel gave Jack a self-satisfied smile. Jack gave him an angry stare.for about six seconds, after which his tongue slid out of his mouth and he panted like a bitch in heat.
So, go. Read. Laugh until you cry and bookmark this. As they say, laughter is the best medicine.
Aliens Made Me Do It
Love Among The Stars
Curse Of The Black Widow
I'm a Jaffa And You're Not
Inquiring Minds Want To Know
Debriefing: Ho, Ho, Huh?
no subject
(Anonymous) 2009-05-12 05:43 pm (UTC)(link)no subject