The Experiment (R) by Zillah

[citruslover.livejournal.com]

Fandom: POPSLASH
Pairing: AJ/Nick
Length: short story
Author on LJ: visionshadows
Author Website: Sparkly Dance Boys.com
Why this must be read: Conventional wisdom says that youth is the time to try out new things, broaden our horizons. If you're a Backstreet Boy that probably includes a much broader range, but we're not getting into specifics here.

Told from AJ's point of view, this is an emotional look back at a human experiment, the results of which are still open to interpretation. Bittersweet memories blend with excellent dialogue and poignant self-realizations to make a wonderful narrative.

...I was his experiment. He was my first. And when his experiment was over, he moved on.

Sometimes I’ll catch myself watching him and I’ll remember little things; the way his eyelids fluttered when he slept, the fine blonde hair on his upper thighs, or the way his fingers plucked at the blankets when we would talk.

Then I’ll shake my head a little, blink, and force myself back to the present, force myself to see Nick now and remember that he’s not mine. He never really was. Even when we were together, he never gave himself to me really. Sure, he gave me his body but he never gave me his mind or his heart....

The Experiment