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http://users.livejournal.com/_mydecember_/) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
crack_van2009-11-02 11:37 pm
http://users.livejournal.com/_mydecember_/) wrote in crack_van2009-11-02 11:37 pm
and the moon in their net by iphignia939 (R-ish)
Hi! I'm ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
_mydecember_, and I'm doing Bandom recs this month. Expect plenty of Pete/Patrick.
Fandom: BANDOM
Pairing: Pete/Patrick
Length: 16,588 words
Author on LJ:iphignia939
Author Website: n/a
Why this must be read:
Do you like urban fantasy and/or slightly cracked-out fic that is strangely plausible? If so, you will *love* this fic. If not? Well, you'll still probably love it. This is one of my favorite fics of all time.
"Okay, so." Pete hesitated. "There really isn't any good way to say this, is there? So I'll just say it." He took a deep breath. "I'm a faerie."
"Yeah, I know," Patrick said. "I've seen the guys you sneak into club bathrooms with, man." How was this news?
"No, not--" Pete shook his head. "Not that kind of faerie," he said. "The kind from Shakespeare. You know, with the magical powers and Oberon and Titania and, you know. Whatever." He looked faintly embarrassed.
And he totally should, Patrick thought, because pulling this shit *now* was such a dick move he couldn't actually explain it in words.
He stared at Pete in disbelief for maybe a minute before he managed to ask, "How fucking stupid do you think I am?"
"What?" Now Pete looked startled. "What -- you think I'm--"
"You've done worse," Patrick said. His voice sounded way too tight even for his own ears, which meant in reality it probably sounded worse. "You usually don't do it to *me*, but that's because I don't fall for this shit anymore. So I can't figure why you'd be trying it now, unless you think I've gotten stupider over time."
"Patrick," Pete started, "this is. I'm not kidding, here. I'm serious."
"Yes," Patrick said. "Of course you are. I can tell, too, because you're three feet high and have pointed ears. And the giant wings coming out of your back were a dead giveaway. I thought I maybe should have said something about the fact that you sneeze glitter, or that time you went out and got high with a bunch of unicorns--"
"Look!" Pete snapped, so suddenly it shut Patrick up. "I am not lying to you about this, okay? I wouldn't lie about this -- I *can't* lie about it, actually, which is part of a much longer story -- but I sure as shit wouldn't lie to *you* about this. And if you don't know that already, you have not been paying attention the last five fucking years, but if means so much to you, fine." He slammed his hand down on top of Patrick's. "I swear by the stars in the four corners and the moon in their net that I will tell you the truth and nothing else. If I break this vow, may fire burn me, water drown me, air leave my lungs, and earth swallow me whole."
There was a rush of – something between them. Pete clenched his hand around Patrick's almost-but-not-quite painfully, then let go and slumped back down in the other chair.
"There," he said. He sounded out of breath. "That's binding. And please don't ask me to do it again, because it takes a lot out of me and it really, really fucking sucks."
Patrick looked at him for a long moment.
"You weren't kidding, were you?" he asked quietly. "You're--" He paused. "--not human."
Now Pete looked insulted. Winded, but insulted. "Of course I'm human," he said. "You've shared either a bus, a van, or a hotel room with me for almost six years now, dumbass."
Which – well, he *had*. It wasn't like Pete went around levitating things or communing with trees or cursing people. Cursing *at* people, most of the time, but that wasn't the same thing.
"But you're." Patrick stopped and made a vague hand gesture. "Not entirely," he finished.
Pete shook his head.
and the moon in their net
_mydecember_, and I'm doing Bandom recs this month. Expect plenty of Pete/Patrick.Fandom: BANDOM
Pairing: Pete/Patrick
Length: 16,588 words
Author on LJ:
iphignia939Author Website: n/a
Why this must be read:
Do you like urban fantasy and/or slightly cracked-out fic that is strangely plausible? If so, you will *love* this fic. If not? Well, you'll still probably love it. This is one of my favorite fics of all time.
"Okay, so." Pete hesitated. "There really isn't any good way to say this, is there? So I'll just say it." He took a deep breath. "I'm a faerie."
"Yeah, I know," Patrick said. "I've seen the guys you sneak into club bathrooms with, man." How was this news?
"No, not--" Pete shook his head. "Not that kind of faerie," he said. "The kind from Shakespeare. You know, with the magical powers and Oberon and Titania and, you know. Whatever." He looked faintly embarrassed.
And he totally should, Patrick thought, because pulling this shit *now* was such a dick move he couldn't actually explain it in words.
He stared at Pete in disbelief for maybe a minute before he managed to ask, "How fucking stupid do you think I am?"
"What?" Now Pete looked startled. "What -- you think I'm--"
"You've done worse," Patrick said. His voice sounded way too tight even for his own ears, which meant in reality it probably sounded worse. "You usually don't do it to *me*, but that's because I don't fall for this shit anymore. So I can't figure why you'd be trying it now, unless you think I've gotten stupider over time."
"Patrick," Pete started, "this is. I'm not kidding, here. I'm serious."
"Yes," Patrick said. "Of course you are. I can tell, too, because you're three feet high and have pointed ears. And the giant wings coming out of your back were a dead giveaway. I thought I maybe should have said something about the fact that you sneeze glitter, or that time you went out and got high with a bunch of unicorns--"
"Look!" Pete snapped, so suddenly it shut Patrick up. "I am not lying to you about this, okay? I wouldn't lie about this -- I *can't* lie about it, actually, which is part of a much longer story -- but I sure as shit wouldn't lie to *you* about this. And if you don't know that already, you have not been paying attention the last five fucking years, but if means so much to you, fine." He slammed his hand down on top of Patrick's. "I swear by the stars in the four corners and the moon in their net that I will tell you the truth and nothing else. If I break this vow, may fire burn me, water drown me, air leave my lungs, and earth swallow me whole."
There was a rush of – something between them. Pete clenched his hand around Patrick's almost-but-not-quite painfully, then let go and slumped back down in the other chair.
"There," he said. He sounded out of breath. "That's binding. And please don't ask me to do it again, because it takes a lot out of me and it really, really fucking sucks."
Patrick looked at him for a long moment.
"You weren't kidding, were you?" he asked quietly. "You're--" He paused. "--not human."
Now Pete looked insulted. Winded, but insulted. "Of course I'm human," he said. "You've shared either a bus, a van, or a hotel room with me for almost six years now, dumbass."
Which – well, he *had*. It wasn't like Pete went around levitating things or communing with trees or cursing people. Cursing *at* people, most of the time, but that wasn't the same thing.
"But you're." Patrick stopped and made a vague hand gesture. "Not entirely," he finished.
Pete shook his head.
and the moon in their net