"The Road to Morocco Affair" by Lee the T (maybe PG for innuendo)

[aithine]

Fandom: THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E.
Pairing: Napoleon Solo/Illya Kuryakin, Illya/female (off-screen)
Author on LJ: leethet
Author's Website: I can't find a personal site, but gen stories are here and slash stories are listed here. Some fic has also been posted to leethet.

Why this must be read: Because Lee has a very deft touch, and the story feels like a really good episode with a slashy twist. Napoleon and Illya toss off one-liners with light-hearted savoir faire, bantering their way through another day of saving the free world.

Kassim roared, "I am Mullay Kassim! You cannot refuse me! Which of these dogs has sought to turn you against me?" He transferred his glare to the UNCLE agents.

To Napoleon he said, "Is it you? Are you the moon-faced son of a one-eyed donkey who has tried to steal what is mine?"

"Ah, no," Napoleon said peaceably. "It's just the way I comb my hair."

"Is it you, then?" Kassim snarled at Illya. "You pale-eyed, white-skinned snake?"

Illya said something in Arabic, a short phrase, well-chilled. Napoleon thought he caught the words "small penis" -- he shook his head. Had to be a mistake.

Kassim turned white. "Dog!" he cried, brandishing his curved sword. "I will show my men the color of your liver!"

Napoleon interposed his body between Kassim and Illya, held out one hand and said, "I'll tell you, sheikh: you've seen one liver, you've seen them all."

The Road to Morocco Affair, Part One
The Road to Morocco Affair, Part Two