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crack_van2010-06-30 04:29 pm
rebelliousrose.livejournal.com) wrote in crack_van2010-06-30 04:29 pm
Easy Girl, by une fille, (PG-13)
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rebelliousrose and I didn't drive the van as fast as I wanted to this month, since I contracted a computer virus that took me off the playing field faster than Kurt in need of hair spray. I'll hit you all again sometime! (Shh. Don't tell Coach Sylvester, she'll make me smell my armpits.)
Fandom: GLEE
Pairing: Puck/Rachel, Finn/Quinn
Length: One-shot.
Author Website: une fille on FF.net
Why this must be read:Mostly because it's FUNNY. Rachel and Puck are supersonic versions of themselves and it manages to wrap up most of the emotional issues of the kids of Glee without ever being condescending or failing to find the underlying emotional truth. Also, did I mention it's funny?
"What do you mean, sweetheart?" his mother asks. "We've only met Rachel tonight."
"She comes over when you make Noah babysit me," she grins proudly. It must be such a rush for her to, for once, have a whole room's undivided attention and Puck's glad she got to experience this at least once in her life because now he's going to have to kill her once it's over. It doesn't even occur him to just stop her somehow, because do people run outside their homes and just ask the tornado to fucking quit it already, please?
Everyone just looks gobsmacked, even the parents who don't even really know who he and Rachel are, which he just thinks is kind of ridiculous. He's still avoiding looking at Rachel, but for some reason he decides to glance up at her fathers, probably so he knows when exactly he needs to start running for the door. They don't seem either upset or surprised, really, and they probably just assume that obviously Rachel just goes over to practice because they're teammates so it's understandable. Puck guesses that this ability to expect an innocent explanation is borne from having an innocent child, because while her fathers look on calmly, his mother is glaring daggers at him from the punch bowl. She knows him too well.
"So you pencil in a little extra practice with the Glee dreamboat, eh?" One of Rachel's fathers elbows her lightly as he teases her good-naturedly. "Understandable." Puck still hasn't looked at her.
"Do they ever kiss in there, Deborah?" the other father asks lightly, and everyone kind of chuckles. When Deb shakes her head no and makes a disgusted face, the chuckles turn to guffaws and Puck thinks that maybe the worst is over. Then his little sister opens her mouth. Again.
"But sometimes Noah puts his head between Rachel's legs."
And Puck figures he has about a minute before the shit hits the fan so he just grabs Kurt and picks him up like a shield and hopes everyone has enough sense to spare an innocent life.
Easy Girl
rebelliousrose and I didn't drive the van as fast as I wanted to this month, since I contracted a computer virus that took me off the playing field faster than Kurt in need of hair spray. I'll hit you all again sometime! (Shh. Don't tell Coach Sylvester, she'll make me smell my armpits.) Fandom: GLEE
Pairing: Puck/Rachel, Finn/Quinn
Length: One-shot.
Author Website: une fille on FF.net
Why this must be read:Mostly because it's FUNNY. Rachel and Puck are supersonic versions of themselves and it manages to wrap up most of the emotional issues of the kids of Glee without ever being condescending or failing to find the underlying emotional truth. Also, did I mention it's funny?
"What do you mean, sweetheart?" his mother asks. "We've only met Rachel tonight."
"She comes over when you make Noah babysit me," she grins proudly. It must be such a rush for her to, for once, have a whole room's undivided attention and Puck's glad she got to experience this at least once in her life because now he's going to have to kill her once it's over. It doesn't even occur him to just stop her somehow, because do people run outside their homes and just ask the tornado to fucking quit it already, please?
Everyone just looks gobsmacked, even the parents who don't even really know who he and Rachel are, which he just thinks is kind of ridiculous. He's still avoiding looking at Rachel, but for some reason he decides to glance up at her fathers, probably so he knows when exactly he needs to start running for the door. They don't seem either upset or surprised, really, and they probably just assume that obviously Rachel just goes over to practice because they're teammates so it's understandable. Puck guesses that this ability to expect an innocent explanation is borne from having an innocent child, because while her fathers look on calmly, his mother is glaring daggers at him from the punch bowl. She knows him too well.
"So you pencil in a little extra practice with the Glee dreamboat, eh?" One of Rachel's fathers elbows her lightly as he teases her good-naturedly. "Understandable." Puck still hasn't looked at her.
"Do they ever kiss in there, Deborah?" the other father asks lightly, and everyone kind of chuckles. When Deb shakes her head no and makes a disgusted face, the chuckles turn to guffaws and Puck thinks that maybe the worst is over. Then his little sister opens her mouth. Again.
"But sometimes Noah puts his head between Rachel's legs."
And Puck figures he has about a minute before the shit hits the fan so he just grabs Kurt and picks him up like a shield and hopes everyone has enough sense to spare an innocent life.
Easy Girl
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I'm gearing up to write a Glee fic, and I'm still trying to figure out how to have the characters sing. Can you rec any fics that actually have the lyrics being sung by the characters? It can be either performance pieces like "Don't Stop Believing" or internalized ones like Rachel's "Take a Bow" when she finds out Quinn's pregnant.
Thanks.