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sandystarr88.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
crack_van2010-08-17 10:18 pm
sandystarr88.livejournal.com) wrote in crack_van2010-08-17 10:18 pm
and i'll be so alone without you, maybe you'll be lonesome too by mumblemutter (PG-13)
Fandom: HEROES
Pairing: Nathan/Peter
Length: ~7,600
Author on LJ:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
mumblemutter
Author Website: Stories at Archive of Our Own
Why this must be read:
Because this the fix-it fic that so many Nathan/Peter shippers dreamed of after the heartbreak of season 4. Peter Petrelli wouldn't just let his brother die, not if he had anything to say about it; this piece and the way the author writes Nathan and Peter's relationship is just perfect in its execution, and a must-read for every fan of this pairing.
Peter has died five times:
(1) When saving a cheerleader that turned out to be his niece, and what a surprise that was at the time, although if you told him now that Nathan has illegitimate children littered around the world and they all have powers and he needs to save all of them to save the world or end the world or some permutation inbetween he'd just nod his head and go, "Sorry, the Petrelli brother with the superhero complex is retired now, please find someone else, thanks." There's not a lot that surprises him anymore, not really.
Claire knows where they are, of course. Peter flies in sometimes and picks her up for visits, when she's not busy going on Oprah or The Today Show and slowly, inexorably, changing all of their lives. No-one's quite figured out what to do yet, it's just panic-driven hysteria and fascination, but sometimes Claire sits at the dinner table and is nothing but pensive and worried, and she won't respond when Nathan or Peter asks her what's wrong.
Nathan's still mostly immensely fond of his daughter, but Peter has a sneaking suspicion that her sky-dive is going to go down eventually as "that time Claire Bennet royally fucked up". But it was her choice to make in any case, and on that matter Peter agrees with Nathan at least: they're both proud of her.
Claire never asks why Peter has given up his entire life to babysit Nathan, and for that he's grateful. She probably knows anyway, although Nathan would be appalled if he realized she did.
(2) By the hands of a man who he, for a brief, perplexing moment, thought he was related to. Thankfully that turned out to be patently untrue, but it was close for a minute or two there. In any case, he then had to spend five years trapped with him in a private universe consisting of just the two of them. Peter likes to call those years "the lost years", and he refuses to ever talk about them with Sylar, or with anyone else for that matter, even though Sylar likes to call him sometimes just to chat, because apparently you can't let your pet former-serial-killer out of your sight for too long before he starts getting antsy and starts complaining to your mother about what a bad son she has.
Sylar seems to be expecting a dinner invitation at some point, and Peter can't put it off forever even though he's not looking forward to an evening of supreme awkwardness: Nathan, him and the man who succeeded in killing both of them. But it's not as if he can hope that Sylar will someday accidentally fall off a cliff or something, the man can't die and he has all the time in the world.
(3) Boom, in Kirby Plaza. This led to the whole Adam incident, which neither Peter nor Nathan ever like to bring up, specifically because Peter will just call it "the Adam incident" and Nathan will go on about how he believed Peter dead for months only to find him again and have Peter's future self shoot him hours later, but it wasn't that big a deal, really, let's move on. In Nathan's own way, this is him making the best out of what was once surely a very grave situation. Except in light of everything that happened after, Peter has a tendency to look back at that time with a mild sense of nostalgia.
It's easy, see: Peter screws up and Nathan fixes things for him. Except that's not who they are anymore, and Peter's still far too forgiving of Nathan, even now, far too willing to accept his inherent selfishness and opportunism - but that's probably because Nathan doesn't really get much of a chance to be opportunistic nowadays. Nathan has a tendency to issue apologies like gifts, and expects thanks in return, and Peter can't really do anything about the selfishness, but it nice that he's had so many years of it he barely notices it anymore.
(4) This one's a bit tricky. He can't truly blame Sylar for exploding after he lost the son that no longer will ever have existed, and yet. Sometimes he can still feel the imprint of his entire body dissolving, then stitching itself back together again, piece by painful piece. That Sylar never even existed, and mostly Peter likes to pretend it doesn't quite count because that means that what happened afterwards didn't count either.
It's the little things that make it easy for him to sleep at night, his hand over Nathan's heart while Nathan stirs in his sleep, and sometimes there's a trick of a light, the moon's shadow falling over them in a particular way, and he can almost see a crown of blood across Nathan's forehead, hear Nathan's strangled voice telling him to stop. This only leads to Peter trying to reassure himself that Nathan's still alive of course, spreading his fingers across Nathan's forehead until Nathan stirs awake enough to go, "Christ, Pete, you're insatiable. I'm an old man, I need a good night's sleep." Nathan's cock never seems to be in agreement with the rest of him though, so those nights usually end up pretty good.
(5) He asked Noah once, what happened to that boy that could heal people, maybe he could get that particular power back, it might come in useful at some point, but Noah just made a face and told him the kid was dead. Peter found out what happened eventually, and he mostly blames himself even though it was hardly his fault or responsibility, but he sometimes sits and wonders about probabilities, of the chances that there'd be another person in the world that could heal like that kid. Like Linderman. The odds don't look very good, as far as he can tell, in four centuries there were only two regens born, and Wes can't even fly the same way that Nathan can, but perhaps.
He feels selfish, sometimes, holding on to flight, when he should be seeking out a more useful power like superspeed or superstrength, he knows where Mohinder is, and Edgar is still bouncing around somewhere as the new head of the carnival. But then he remembers their objectives: stay low, stay hidden. No heroics whatsoever, and if that's what it takes to keep Nathan, then that's what it takes. Everyone lives their life in compromise, and it's just taken Peter longer than most people to come to terms with it.
So has Nathan:
and i'll be so alone without you, maybe you'll be lonesome too
Pairing: Nathan/Peter
Length: ~7,600
Author on LJ:
mumblemutterAuthor Website: Stories at Archive of Our Own
Why this must be read:
Because this the fix-it fic that so many Nathan/Peter shippers dreamed of after the heartbreak of season 4. Peter Petrelli wouldn't just let his brother die, not if he had anything to say about it; this piece and the way the author writes Nathan and Peter's relationship is just perfect in its execution, and a must-read for every fan of this pairing.
Peter has died five times:
(1) When saving a cheerleader that turned out to be his niece, and what a surprise that was at the time, although if you told him now that Nathan has illegitimate children littered around the world and they all have powers and he needs to save all of them to save the world or end the world or some permutation inbetween he'd just nod his head and go, "Sorry, the Petrelli brother with the superhero complex is retired now, please find someone else, thanks." There's not a lot that surprises him anymore, not really.
Claire knows where they are, of course. Peter flies in sometimes and picks her up for visits, when she's not busy going on Oprah or The Today Show and slowly, inexorably, changing all of their lives. No-one's quite figured out what to do yet, it's just panic-driven hysteria and fascination, but sometimes Claire sits at the dinner table and is nothing but pensive and worried, and she won't respond when Nathan or Peter asks her what's wrong.
Nathan's still mostly immensely fond of his daughter, but Peter has a sneaking suspicion that her sky-dive is going to go down eventually as "that time Claire Bennet royally fucked up". But it was her choice to make in any case, and on that matter Peter agrees with Nathan at least: they're both proud of her.
Claire never asks why Peter has given up his entire life to babysit Nathan, and for that he's grateful. She probably knows anyway, although Nathan would be appalled if he realized she did.
(2) By the hands of a man who he, for a brief, perplexing moment, thought he was related to. Thankfully that turned out to be patently untrue, but it was close for a minute or two there. In any case, he then had to spend five years trapped with him in a private universe consisting of just the two of them. Peter likes to call those years "the lost years", and he refuses to ever talk about them with Sylar, or with anyone else for that matter, even though Sylar likes to call him sometimes just to chat, because apparently you can't let your pet former-serial-killer out of your sight for too long before he starts getting antsy and starts complaining to your mother about what a bad son she has.
Sylar seems to be expecting a dinner invitation at some point, and Peter can't put it off forever even though he's not looking forward to an evening of supreme awkwardness: Nathan, him and the man who succeeded in killing both of them. But it's not as if he can hope that Sylar will someday accidentally fall off a cliff or something, the man can't die and he has all the time in the world.
(3) Boom, in Kirby Plaza. This led to the whole Adam incident, which neither Peter nor Nathan ever like to bring up, specifically because Peter will just call it "the Adam incident" and Nathan will go on about how he believed Peter dead for months only to find him again and have Peter's future self shoot him hours later, but it wasn't that big a deal, really, let's move on. In Nathan's own way, this is him making the best out of what was once surely a very grave situation. Except in light of everything that happened after, Peter has a tendency to look back at that time with a mild sense of nostalgia.
It's easy, see: Peter screws up and Nathan fixes things for him. Except that's not who they are anymore, and Peter's still far too forgiving of Nathan, even now, far too willing to accept his inherent selfishness and opportunism - but that's probably because Nathan doesn't really get much of a chance to be opportunistic nowadays. Nathan has a tendency to issue apologies like gifts, and expects thanks in return, and Peter can't really do anything about the selfishness, but it nice that he's had so many years of it he barely notices it anymore.
(4) This one's a bit tricky. He can't truly blame Sylar for exploding after he lost the son that no longer will ever have existed, and yet. Sometimes he can still feel the imprint of his entire body dissolving, then stitching itself back together again, piece by painful piece. That Sylar never even existed, and mostly Peter likes to pretend it doesn't quite count because that means that what happened afterwards didn't count either.
It's the little things that make it easy for him to sleep at night, his hand over Nathan's heart while Nathan stirs in his sleep, and sometimes there's a trick of a light, the moon's shadow falling over them in a particular way, and he can almost see a crown of blood across Nathan's forehead, hear Nathan's strangled voice telling him to stop. This only leads to Peter trying to reassure himself that Nathan's still alive of course, spreading his fingers across Nathan's forehead until Nathan stirs awake enough to go, "Christ, Pete, you're insatiable. I'm an old man, I need a good night's sleep." Nathan's cock never seems to be in agreement with the rest of him though, so those nights usually end up pretty good.
(5) He asked Noah once, what happened to that boy that could heal people, maybe he could get that particular power back, it might come in useful at some point, but Noah just made a face and told him the kid was dead. Peter found out what happened eventually, and he mostly blames himself even though it was hardly his fault or responsibility, but he sometimes sits and wonders about probabilities, of the chances that there'd be another person in the world that could heal like that kid. Like Linderman. The odds don't look very good, as far as he can tell, in four centuries there were only two regens born, and Wes can't even fly the same way that Nathan can, but perhaps.
He feels selfish, sometimes, holding on to flight, when he should be seeking out a more useful power like superspeed or superstrength, he knows where Mohinder is, and Edgar is still bouncing around somewhere as the new head of the carnival. But then he remembers their objectives: stay low, stay hidden. No heroics whatsoever, and if that's what it takes to keep Nathan, then that's what it takes. Everyone lives their life in compromise, and it's just taken Peter longer than most people to come to terms with it.
So has Nathan:
and i'll be so alone without you, maybe you'll be lonesome too