Indefinable by _disappoint_me_ (NC-17)

[aprilleigh24.livejournal.com]

Greetings, I’m aprilleigh24  and I’ll be driving the van for Star Trek RPS this month. This is an amazing fandom, with a ton of talented authors and fabulous storytelling within it. This will be a great month.

Fandom: STAR TREK RPS
Pairing: Zachary Quinto/Chris Pine
Length: 8,620
Author on LJ: _disappoint_me_
Author Website: LJ pinto tag
Why this must be read:

Spending too much time concerned with thinking about what they aren‘t, he neglects to see them for what they are. This is a relatively new story, but one that I've already read a half dozen times. It's a 'Wait, we're in love?' story. It's fluff without sweetness; angst without pain and it'll leave you with tears in your eyes, and a warm feeling in your heart.

Zach showers and takes one of Chris’ tee shirts while Chris changes into sweats and they lie back down on the couch, not bothering to turn the TV on. Chris is lying against him, head against his chest as Zach moves his fingers through his hair.

“Your birthday’s in a month?”

“Mmmhmmm,” Chris hums slowly, the tip of his tongue just brushing against Zach’s throat as he licks his lips.

“You’re turning thirty?”

“…Yeah,” He says, tone sounding wary of Zach’s line of questioning.

“You, uh, you planning on getting some furniture? Putting some stuff on the walls? New couch maybe?” Zach says with a barely restrained laugh. “This thing is awful.”

“Oh, fuck you!” Chris laughs, tilting his chin to look up at Zach. “Maybe I like knowing I’m not tied down here. That I can go anywhere anytime.”

And then it isn’t funny. Zach looks down at him, fingers still curling in his hair. He pushes the possibilities of what Chris might be saying out of his mind, and leans down to kiss him instead. They fall quiet after that, but they don’t go to sleep. He can feel Chris yawning, and he’s more than exhausted himself, but this is all they have and the clock is ticking, so they stay awake. He knows things aren‘t what they were before. Chris says nothing changes, but he’s wrong. In three hours Zach will get on a plane and go back to New York and his soul aches because of what he‘ll be leaving behind and maybe it hurt before, but not like this. It’s like Chris kisses him differently now, touches him more deliberately, and Zach feels it like Chris is digging into parts of him that can’t be reached with touch alone.

It’s quarter to four in the morning when Zach finally pulls himself away from Chris. Chris walks him to the door and Zach hesitates for only a second before pulling him in and kissing him. He mumbles his goodbyes against Chris’ lips and is out the door before Chris can say anything in return. Before this, neither greetings nor goodbyes had been particularly affectionate. They aren’t lovers, so it isn’t something they‘re used to. But that part, that hole that Chris is digging for himself under Zach’s skin tells him that he needs to so Chris can‘t forget him. So he does because he feels like if Chris forgot him, he would cease to exist.


Indefinable