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crack_van2010-11-24 03:07 pm
laceymcbain.livejournal.com) wrote in crack_van2010-11-24 03:07 pm
Entry tags:
The Ratio of Burning by Stillane (NC-17)
Fandom: STARGATE ATLANTIS
Pairing: Sheppard/McKay
Length: ~ 12,200 words
Author on LJ:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
stillane
Author Website: Fictions and the like
Why this must be read: What do you do when an alien civilization tries to do you a favour by making your brilliant, but somewhat obnoxious, scientist into a calmer, gentler, more efficient version of himself? If you're John Sheppard, you have to hold back the urge to go and blow things up, but really, how do you go on when the person you care about and depend on has fundamentally changed?
I love this story for its complexities. It's creepy--because a Rodney that doesn't insult everyone and talk with his hands is inherently wrong. It's subtle--we've all wished that people who drive us crazy would somehow be different, haven't we? It's heart-breaking, as we realize exactly what John (and all of Atlantis) has lost. It's not a death!fic, although it has moments where it feels like one. It's brilliant and poetic and just plain engaging. It's one of those stories that lingers in the mind and in the heart.
He knows that Teyla’s right. This is just a drug, and it will wear off soon, and there’s no point in killing anyone over something that they’ll laugh about tomorrow. His hands aren’t fisted and his teeth aren’t clenched.
He knows it right up until Beckett comes back with blood screens that are clear and brain scans that aren’t. Beckett says chemical imbalances and blocked neural pathways, and John hears wrong and broken.
“Are we even sure this is McKay?” John honestly doesn’t know what answer he’s hoping for.
Carson looks away and then back. “The scars and genes and dental records are all a match with Rodney’s on file.”
John’s heart pounds and he realizes he wanted the opposite.
Elizabeth asks where they go from here, and this time he knows instantly that the right answer isn’t coming.
There’s only silence.
“The problem,” Carson says quietly, “is that Rodney is fine. Physically, there isn’t a thing wrong with him. Intellectually, he is as brilliant as he ever was. His scores for both strict cognitive function and recall are even a bit higher, in fact, and while his neural chemistry is off, it doesn’t seem to be having a negative effect on his mood. I honestly don’t know how to approach this.”
Rodney is not unbalanced, or unstable, or even unhappy. He’s simply not Rodney.
“Anything will need to be specifically calibrated to his brain. Whatever’s been done, it’s precise.” Carson shakes his head. “I can try antidepressants, even antipsychotics, but chances are they won’t have any desirable effects.”
He continues with details of serotonin levels and dopamine inhibitors, but they all mean ‘no’. John doesn’t look at the man that sits on the infirmary bed, silently absorbing their words and offering none of his own.
Read the story / Feedback the author on her website: The Ratio of Burning
On Livejournal: The Ratio of Burning
Pairing: Sheppard/McKay
Length: ~ 12,200 words
Author on LJ:
stillaneAuthor Website: Fictions and the like
Why this must be read: What do you do when an alien civilization tries to do you a favour by making your brilliant, but somewhat obnoxious, scientist into a calmer, gentler, more efficient version of himself? If you're John Sheppard, you have to hold back the urge to go and blow things up, but really, how do you go on when the person you care about and depend on has fundamentally changed?
I love this story for its complexities. It's creepy--because a Rodney that doesn't insult everyone and talk with his hands is inherently wrong. It's subtle--we've all wished that people who drive us crazy would somehow be different, haven't we? It's heart-breaking, as we realize exactly what John (and all of Atlantis) has lost. It's not a death!fic, although it has moments where it feels like one. It's brilliant and poetic and just plain engaging. It's one of those stories that lingers in the mind and in the heart.
He knows that Teyla’s right. This is just a drug, and it will wear off soon, and there’s no point in killing anyone over something that they’ll laugh about tomorrow. His hands aren’t fisted and his teeth aren’t clenched.
He knows it right up until Beckett comes back with blood screens that are clear and brain scans that aren’t. Beckett says chemical imbalances and blocked neural pathways, and John hears wrong and broken.
“Are we even sure this is McKay?” John honestly doesn’t know what answer he’s hoping for.
Carson looks away and then back. “The scars and genes and dental records are all a match with Rodney’s on file.”
John’s heart pounds and he realizes he wanted the opposite.
Elizabeth asks where they go from here, and this time he knows instantly that the right answer isn’t coming.
There’s only silence.
“The problem,” Carson says quietly, “is that Rodney is fine. Physically, there isn’t a thing wrong with him. Intellectually, he is as brilliant as he ever was. His scores for both strict cognitive function and recall are even a bit higher, in fact, and while his neural chemistry is off, it doesn’t seem to be having a negative effect on his mood. I honestly don’t know how to approach this.”
Rodney is not unbalanced, or unstable, or even unhappy. He’s simply not Rodney.
“Anything will need to be specifically calibrated to his brain. Whatever’s been done, it’s precise.” Carson shakes his head. “I can try antidepressants, even antipsychotics, but chances are they won’t have any desirable effects.”
He continues with details of serotonin levels and dopamine inhibitors, but they all mean ‘no’. John doesn’t look at the man that sits on the infirmary bed, silently absorbing their words and offering none of his own.
Read the story / Feedback the author on her website: The Ratio of Burning
On Livejournal: The Ratio of Burning