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crack_van2011-02-23 05:44 pm
bachlava.livejournal.com) wrote in crack_van2011-02-23 05:44 pm
Entry tags:
Pandora's Box by Rachel Anton (NC-17)
Fandom: THE X-FILES
Pairing: Mulder/Scully
Length: 48k
Author on LJ: Not to my knowledge.
Author Website: Gossamer page
Why this must be read:
"Bad Blood" is another of The X-Files (almost) universally agreed upon "classic episodes," one that Gillian Anderson identifies as her favourite of the entire series. It's also the only context in which this fic is possible, because that episode definitely has Our Heroes regressing to adolescent-type behaviour - well, okay, "Syzygy" does too, but it's a much weaker episode, IMO. Anyway, "Pandora's Box" has as its premise that Scully didn't find anything unusual in her second autopsy and returns after midnight to the lousy motel sleep-deprived, aching from standing on concrete for back-to-back autopsies, and extremely irritable from having had nothing "to eat since six o'clock this morning, and all [she] had then was a half a cream-cheese bagel, and it wasn't even real cream cheese, it was lite cream cheese!" She finds Mulder contentedly drooling on her pillow after having eaten her pizza, and from there on in... well, let's say the energy of their interaction isn't set as "irritated." What follows is hilarious, brilliantly characterized, and scorching hot.
My one caveat would be that there is, in between the irritation and the fun part, a game of sexual "chicken" and/or "playing doctor" that I, personally, can just buy in this context only, but that some readers find a deal-breaker. If that's the case for you, I recommend, when you get to that point in the fic, scrolling down to "2/2" (it was originally posted in two parts) - the rest of the fic, in my view, is definitely worth the effort.
I open the door with a ridiculous optimism. Maybe tonight will be different. Maybe he'll sense that I really need...nope. The room is covered in mud. The magic fingers are working their magic. And Mulder is asleep on my bed, his arm folded behind his head and his legs sprawled in every direction. He's wearing a T-shirt, underwear and a bulging erection. Goddammit!
I slam the door behind me, jarring him from his pornographic dream world and he opens his eyes. "Mmmughh?" He looks around, somewhat dazed, but doesn't move.
I pull off my coat and scan the room for the pizza box. Okay, I know what you're thinking. It's an erection. It's an impressive erection. It's a Mulderection. And I'm thinking about pizza?
Well, I'm only human. And I know I'm not getting laid tonight. At least with pizza, I know I'll get some kind of satisfaction.
"How was the autopsy?" Guess he's opted for stupid.
"It was an autopsy. Bloody, boring, not particularly enlightening." There. I see the box. It's sitting in the corner, by the chair. Please God. Oh please.
I pick it up and inch the cover open. Damn you Mulder.
"I left you some cheese." His voice is trembling because of the stupid magic fingers. I want to hurt him.
I scowl at the pile of congealed cheese on the bottom of the box. "Thanks. You're a prince." I toss the box back to the floor and head for the door.
"Where ya goin?"
I turn around and look at him. He's still lying there with that goofy grin and that fucking erection, no shame whatsoever. I speak through clenched teeth.
"I am going to the candy machine to get some goddamn dinner."
You can read the whole thing at the link here.
Pairing: Mulder/Scully
Length: 48k
Author on LJ: Not to my knowledge.
Author Website: Gossamer page
Why this must be read:
"Bad Blood" is another of The X-Files (almost) universally agreed upon "classic episodes," one that Gillian Anderson identifies as her favourite of the entire series. It's also the only context in which this fic is possible, because that episode definitely has Our Heroes regressing to adolescent-type behaviour - well, okay, "Syzygy" does too, but it's a much weaker episode, IMO. Anyway, "Pandora's Box" has as its premise that Scully didn't find anything unusual in her second autopsy and returns after midnight to the lousy motel sleep-deprived, aching from standing on concrete for back-to-back autopsies, and extremely irritable from having had nothing "to eat since six o'clock this morning, and all [she] had then was a half a cream-cheese bagel, and it wasn't even real cream cheese, it was lite cream cheese!" She finds Mulder contentedly drooling on her pillow after having eaten her pizza, and from there on in... well, let's say the energy of their interaction isn't set as "irritated." What follows is hilarious, brilliantly characterized, and scorching hot.
My one caveat would be that there is, in between the irritation and the fun part, a game of sexual "chicken" and/or "playing doctor" that I, personally, can just buy in this context only, but that some readers find a deal-breaker. If that's the case for you, I recommend, when you get to that point in the fic, scrolling down to "2/2" (it was originally posted in two parts) - the rest of the fic, in my view, is definitely worth the effort.
I open the door with a ridiculous optimism. Maybe tonight will be different. Maybe he'll sense that I really need...nope. The room is covered in mud. The magic fingers are working their magic. And Mulder is asleep on my bed, his arm folded behind his head and his legs sprawled in every direction. He's wearing a T-shirt, underwear and a bulging erection. Goddammit!
I slam the door behind me, jarring him from his pornographic dream world and he opens his eyes. "Mmmughh?" He looks around, somewhat dazed, but doesn't move.
I pull off my coat and scan the room for the pizza box. Okay, I know what you're thinking. It's an erection. It's an impressive erection. It's a Mulderection. And I'm thinking about pizza?
Well, I'm only human. And I know I'm not getting laid tonight. At least with pizza, I know I'll get some kind of satisfaction.
"How was the autopsy?" Guess he's opted for stupid.
"It was an autopsy. Bloody, boring, not particularly enlightening." There. I see the box. It's sitting in the corner, by the chair. Please God. Oh please.
I pick it up and inch the cover open. Damn you Mulder.
"I left you some cheese." His voice is trembling because of the stupid magic fingers. I want to hurt him.
I scowl at the pile of congealed cheese on the bottom of the box. "Thanks. You're a prince." I toss the box back to the floor and head for the door.
"Where ya goin?"
I turn around and look at him. He's still lying there with that goofy grin and that fucking erection, no shame whatsoever. I speak through clenched teeth.
"I am going to the candy machine to get some goddamn dinner."
You can read the whole thing at the link here.
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