beatrice_otter (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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crack_van2011-03-09 10:04 pm
beatrice_otter) wrote in crack_van2011-03-09 10:04 pm
Entry tags:
Responsibilities of Command by GumbieCat
Fandom: VORKOSIVERSE
Characters: Gregor, Miles
Length: 2200
Author on LJ:![[personal profile]](https://s.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
gumbie_cat
Author Website: AO3
Why this must be read:
Here's another missing scene for the end of The Vor Game, so I figured I'd rec this one next. This is written from the point of view of Miles, checking in with Gregor to see if he's okay. This is a lighter take on things; and it's also partly about the different ways Gregor and Miles handle depression. It's well-written, and both of them seem very in-character.
"I did as you suggested. I did promise after all. We talked a little. About why I jumped." Gregor paused and looked down at his hands, folded together loosely in his lap. "It wasn't the first time I'd thought about death as a means of escape, you know. Just the first time, between the alcohol and the talk about my father, that I found the will to act on it." He looked up at Miles then, not quite managing to meet his eyes but still watching his face closely, observing his reaction.
If Gregor was waiting for Miles to be shocked by this revelation, horrified, he was doomed to disappointment. Miles had had time to get over his initial shock, to think things over and do some research. More than enough time to realise that suicidal urges generally came not in single spies, but in battalions. It was horrible of course, on both personal and political levels. Miles had reached the conclusion, more than slightly panicked at 3am, two days after arriving safely back on Barrayar, that on balance a suicidal Emperor was at least a little better than a homicidal one. Same end result for the Emperor in question but less collateral damage for others before hand. He had no intention of sharing that line of reasoning with Gregor, with anyone. He'd felt utterly sick just thinking about it and proceeded to get as drunk as possible, as quickly as possible. He'd been avoiding the thought at all costs ever since. Thinking about it as something that was happening to Gregor was hardly any better. Gregor, who even as a child had seemed so cool and self-assured, capable in a way that Miles was convinced, even now, that he himself would never manage. But then perhaps it made sense for someone as self-contained as Gregor that the worst threats would always come from within.
Responsibilities of Command
Characters: Gregor, Miles
Length: 2200
Author on LJ:
gumbie_cat Author Website: AO3
Why this must be read:
Here's another missing scene for the end of The Vor Game, so I figured I'd rec this one next. This is written from the point of view of Miles, checking in with Gregor to see if he's okay. This is a lighter take on things; and it's also partly about the different ways Gregor and Miles handle depression. It's well-written, and both of them seem very in-character.
"I did as you suggested. I did promise after all. We talked a little. About why I jumped." Gregor paused and looked down at his hands, folded together loosely in his lap. "It wasn't the first time I'd thought about death as a means of escape, you know. Just the first time, between the alcohol and the talk about my father, that I found the will to act on it." He looked up at Miles then, not quite managing to meet his eyes but still watching his face closely, observing his reaction.
If Gregor was waiting for Miles to be shocked by this revelation, horrified, he was doomed to disappointment. Miles had had time to get over his initial shock, to think things over and do some research. More than enough time to realise that suicidal urges generally came not in single spies, but in battalions. It was horrible of course, on both personal and political levels. Miles had reached the conclusion, more than slightly panicked at 3am, two days after arriving safely back on Barrayar, that on balance a suicidal Emperor was at least a little better than a homicidal one. Same end result for the Emperor in question but less collateral damage for others before hand. He had no intention of sharing that line of reasoning with Gregor, with anyone. He'd felt utterly sick just thinking about it and proceeded to get as drunk as possible, as quickly as possible. He'd been avoiding the thought at all costs ever since. Thinking about it as something that was happening to Gregor was hardly any better. Gregor, who even as a child had seemed so cool and self-assured, capable in a way that Miles was convinced, even now, that he himself would never manage. But then perhaps it made sense for someone as self-contained as Gregor that the worst threats would always come from within.
Responsibilities of Command