crack_van | Permission To Speak Freely by eldritchhorrors (PG-13)

Fandom: STAR TREK:REBOOT
Characters/Pairings: Kirk/Bones
Length: ~5500
Author on LJ:eldritchhorrors
Author Website: Master Post

Why this must be read: Bones has no truck with the holidays, so Jim introduces him to a new one, with one major feature: The Airing of the Grievances. Bones. Airing his grievances. Jim knew this would be an epic Festivus. I repeat: Bones. Airing his grievances. Festivus. I don't think I really need to sell this one. ;)

“Don’t play stupid. Promise me. No Christmas bullshit.”

“No Christmas.”

“No Hanukah. You can celebrate it all you want but if you offer me one marshmallow dreidl I’m not responsible for my actions.”

“No Hanukah,” Jim agreed.

“No Solstice, Eid, Kwanzaa, Saturnalia-“

“Mithra carols.”

“You’re making that up.”

“Maybe,” Jim hedged.

“None of it. I can’t stomach it this year.”

This time, Jim’s hand lit upon his shoulder and gave a small squeeze, draining a lot of the fight. Some of the ornery hissed silently out of Leonard like Jim's hand was a relief valve.

Jim had on his most sincere sincere-face-- not just the one he gave to Admirals and Spock. “No Christmas. Promise.”

“You got your fingers crossed and you lose them.”

“I wouldn’t do that to you, Bones. I swear on my cock, nothing Christmas.”

The rest of the fight ran out of Leonard's body, Jim's oath acting like a child's press on the base of a tension toy-- he felt like he could collapse on himself.

Jim's eyebrows crept toward his hairline.“What? You believe me just like that?”

“Sure. If you’d sworn on your mother, I’d have known you were lying.” Not that Jim hated his mom- far from it. She just wasn’t the sort to inspire fervent swearing-on.

Jim’s cock on the other hand…

Not that Leonard knew from experience.

Dammit.

Permission To Speak Freely