crack_van | The City in the Sea by Kodiak Bear (M by author; PG13 by reccer)

Fandom: STARGATE ATLANTIS
Pairing: none
Length:16,9510 words approx
Author on LJ: kodiak_bear
Author Website: Master List on LJ

Warnings: As summary notes, this fic contains character death of a major character!!
Why this must be read:

Summary: When Rodney is killed, Sheppard has to find a way to live.

This fic broke me, bottom line. It's one of the most vivid, brutal, and raw portrayals of grief I've ever read, in any fandom actually. What Kodiak Bear puts John, and the rest of Atlantis, through in the aftermath of Rodney's death makes me wince now, months after initially reading it. After having to watch Rodney sucked dry by a Wraith and only being able to watch as the Wraith draw out the death/torture, John tries to deal with the traumatic images the ordeal leaves him with and with the subtle reminders of Rodney that still exist around Atlantis. This fic will tear you up, then begin to stitch you back together with the final scene. Don't miss this classic example of the depth of the writing field in Stargate fandom and of Kodiak's sheer talent for emotional writing.

“John, you’re not being fair.”

I ground my heels to a dead stop in the hallway, and spun around, angry. She’d followed me from the briefing and confronted me in a public place instead of the semi-private room I’d just left moments before. “What part of ‘he’s a dick’ is being unfair?” I replied, caustically. Clearly, I knew what part.

Elizabeth didn’t even flinch. She stared evenly at the few people openly watching, until they retreated into their own business again, before turning her attention back to me. “Let me see,” she mocked. “The part where you called him a ‘dick’ or maybe the ‘incompetent buffoon’ and ‘self-serving ass’…did I miss one, because I’ve got the report right here.” She held up the manila folder.

“Elizabeth,” I stated, more calmly then I felt. “You asked me to make an assessment, and I did.”

“An assessment, John – not a character assassination,” she stressed.

I was tired, and I could see she was, too. This little face to face wasn’t going to get us anywhere, but I had to ask. “What do you want from me? You want me to lie – pretend he’s Mr. Incredible?”

The frown marred her face, and then it melted. The folder dropped to her side, held loosely in her fingers. “John, stop expecting them to be McKay.”

The City in the Sea