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crack_van2011-10-08 10:20 am
merentha13.livejournal.com) wrote in crack_van2011-10-08 10:20 am
Entry tags:
Like A River to the Sea by Kitty Fisher (Mature)
Fandom: THE PROFESSIONALS
Pairing: Bodie/Doyle
Length: ~2600 words
Author on LJ: no
Author’s Stories: Automated Hatstand; The Circuit Archive
Why this must be read: a dark and emotional look at Doyle’s past
It was strange being the one to keep it all together -- not what he had ever imagined love and marriage would ever consist of -- but worth it. Though occasionally hard work, the good bits had always outweighed the bad. Ray was everything Bodie wanted in a lover. Trouble was, he was other things too. Bodie could have lived without the darkness of his moods, or the insecurity that made him push every situation to the limit, testing everything and everybody he came into contact with. Including Bodie. Even, on occassion, Cowley, and that could hardly be counted sane.
Yet for all the misery, not once had Bodie's love and need been thrown in his face. Nor had the cutting edge of Doyle's tongue been used to effect a serious rift.
It was as if the demons he battled came from inside himself, so that even at his most explosive, the keenest edge of his hatred was turned inwards. Almost as if he could not only see his demons, but name each one.
Occasionally, Bodie had wondered what was wrong with finding some nice, undemanding girl to settle down with. Then Doyle would smile in that soul-searching way he had, or he'd do something that made Bodie shiver with knowledge of the rightness of what they were and all the bitterness would fade away.
Until the next time.
"You were only a kid!"
"I stopped being a child when I was nine; the day the bastard took me into his bed."
"Ray..." Bodie breathed the word in horror; pity taking away his words. The revelation explained a lot -- too much.
"I know I should have told you." Ray's voice was muffled by the curve of his naked arm. "Didn't you ever wonder why I was so...skilled, in bed?"
"I..."
"Thought it was natural aptitude." He lifted his face to the moonlight. "I told you a lie when I said you were the first -- though you were the first to matter, the first of my adult life, the first I've ever loved." Ray closed his eyes for a moment, then faced Bodie again. "We don't talk about this sort of thing much do we, Bodie? We sleep together, then we go to work, but we don't really talk about what makes us tick. Oh, I know about your past -- the whole bit from mercs to CI5. I know about your girlfriends, your boyfriends, what you like to eat, which way you curl up in bed, but I don't really know about you, the real you."
"You know me better than anyone else." Ill at ease with any sort of confession, Bodie never the less tried. "And I do try to understand you. Sometimes...sometimes I even think I can make you happy."
"Oh, Bodie..." Doyle reached for the vodka, his hand almost steady as he took a deep swallow. When he went on it was in a whisper, "I'm not sure that's possible. I'm sorry."
Like a River to the Sea
Pairing: Bodie/Doyle
Length: ~2600 words
Author on LJ: no
Author’s Stories: Automated Hatstand; The Circuit Archive
Why this must be read: a dark and emotional look at Doyle’s past
Kitty Fisher is another of my favorite Pro’s writers. Her stories are often dark, but she captures the lad’s characters better than almost anyone. Witness her description of Doyle in this excerpt:
It was strange being the one to keep it all together -- not what he had ever imagined love and marriage would ever consist of -- but worth it. Though occasionally hard work, the good bits had always outweighed the bad. Ray was everything Bodie wanted in a lover. Trouble was, he was other things too. Bodie could have lived without the darkness of his moods, or the insecurity that made him push every situation to the limit, testing everything and everybody he came into contact with. Including Bodie. Even, on occassion, Cowley, and that could hardly be counted sane.
Yet for all the misery, not once had Bodie's love and need been thrown in his face. Nor had the cutting edge of Doyle's tongue been used to effect a serious rift.
It was as if the demons he battled came from inside himself, so that even at his most explosive, the keenest edge of his hatred was turned inwards. Almost as if he could not only see his demons, but name each one.
Occasionally, Bodie had wondered what was wrong with finding some nice, undemanding girl to settle down with. Then Doyle would smile in that soul-searching way he had, or he'd do something that made Bodie shiver with knowledge of the rightness of what they were and all the bitterness would fade away.
Until the next time.
Kitty fisher is excellent at setting a mood and drawing out her reader’s emotions. Tell me you can read this not shed a tear…
"You were only a kid!"
"I stopped being a child when I was nine; the day the bastard took me into his bed."
"Ray..." Bodie breathed the word in horror; pity taking away his words. The revelation explained a lot -- too much.
"I know I should have told you." Ray's voice was muffled by the curve of his naked arm. "Didn't you ever wonder why I was so...skilled, in bed?"
"I..."
"Thought it was natural aptitude." He lifted his face to the moonlight. "I told you a lie when I said you were the first -- though you were the first to matter, the first of my adult life, the first I've ever loved." Ray closed his eyes for a moment, then faced Bodie again. "We don't talk about this sort of thing much do we, Bodie? We sleep together, then we go to work, but we don't really talk about what makes us tick. Oh, I know about your past -- the whole bit from mercs to CI5. I know about your girlfriends, your boyfriends, what you like to eat, which way you curl up in bed, but I don't really know about you, the real you."
"You know me better than anyone else." Ill at ease with any sort of confession, Bodie never the less tried. "And I do try to understand you. Sometimes...sometimes I even think I can make you happy."
"Oh, Bodie..." Doyle reached for the vodka, his hand almost steady as he took a deep swallow. When he went on it was in a whisper, "I'm not sure that's possible. I'm sorry."
This is a bit of a rough, dark read; but it is well worth the effort. The ending satisfies without being contrived. Give it a shot!
Like a River to the Sea