MF Luder (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mf_luder_xf) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
crack_van2011-10-30 02:18 pm
mf_luder_xf) wrote in crack_van2011-10-30 02:18 pm
Entry tags:
Four Seasons by raina_at (NC-17)
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Length: ~11,200
Author on LJ:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
raina_at
Author Website: Supernatural Fic Tag
This a lovely, evocative piece that tells the story of Sam going to college and then coming back. Sometimes it's nice to revisit that era, especially when written with such a flair for setting the scene and stressing all the complexities of Sam and Dean's relationship and what each of them want.
He should've known Sam would be honest and straightforward and say a whole lot of shit Dean never wanted to hear. But you asked for it, you stupid fuck, he answers himself silently.
And it's nothing Dean didn't already know.
When this is over, you've got to let me go my own way.
If only things were that easy, Sammy. It's never going to be over. The only difference between this demon and all the other evil shit they're hunting is that this one hurt them personally. So fucking what. As far as he's concerned, that doesn't make a whole stinkin' lot of difference.
It does to Sam, though. And not even because of Mom, but because of Jessica, because he couldn't save her and thinks revenge will bring him some semblance of peace. Dean doesn't look forward to Sam finally realizing that killing this demon won't make any difference at all. He'll still never be normal again. As if he ever was.
It's beyond Dean why somebody as extraordinary as Sam even wants to be ordinary. Nine-to-five job, 2.5 kids, white picket fence, soccer practice, church picnics, bad TV and PTA meetings, bills and chores and dull, numb sameness until death in a retirement home, a plastic tube sticking out of every orifice.
Fuck that. Better to hunt and know danger and fear, yes, but also the exhilaration of snatching people back from death, of killing evil, of making a difference.
Sam will never fit into the colorless life of suburban boredom. He's like Dean. Burning with life and energy and emotion, wholly unique and extraordinary. He'll never fit into a life that's too small to contain him. Whether he wants to or not, he's stuck being a freak, a Winchester. He belongs to Dean's world. He belongs to Dean.
Only he doesn't. He's made it painfully clear that he doesn't. He belongs to himself, and goddamn him, he's going to take himself away from Dean once again, no matter how tightly Dean grips at him. He'll struggle free once more and leave Dean to whatever fate he chooses.
Damn the fucking selfish bastard. He always left the hard part to Dean.
Four Seasons
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Length: ~11,200
Author on LJ:
raina_at Author Website: Supernatural Fic Tag
This a lovely, evocative piece that tells the story of Sam going to college and then coming back. Sometimes it's nice to revisit that era, especially when written with such a flair for setting the scene and stressing all the complexities of Sam and Dean's relationship and what each of them want.
He should've known Sam would be honest and straightforward and say a whole lot of shit Dean never wanted to hear. But you asked for it, you stupid fuck, he answers himself silently.
And it's nothing Dean didn't already know.
When this is over, you've got to let me go my own way.
If only things were that easy, Sammy. It's never going to be over. The only difference between this demon and all the other evil shit they're hunting is that this one hurt them personally. So fucking what. As far as he's concerned, that doesn't make a whole stinkin' lot of difference.
It does to Sam, though. And not even because of Mom, but because of Jessica, because he couldn't save her and thinks revenge will bring him some semblance of peace. Dean doesn't look forward to Sam finally realizing that killing this demon won't make any difference at all. He'll still never be normal again. As if he ever was.
It's beyond Dean why somebody as extraordinary as Sam even wants to be ordinary. Nine-to-five job, 2.5 kids, white picket fence, soccer practice, church picnics, bad TV and PTA meetings, bills and chores and dull, numb sameness until death in a retirement home, a plastic tube sticking out of every orifice.
Fuck that. Better to hunt and know danger and fear, yes, but also the exhilaration of snatching people back from death, of killing evil, of making a difference.
Sam will never fit into the colorless life of suburban boredom. He's like Dean. Burning with life and energy and emotion, wholly unique and extraordinary. He'll never fit into a life that's too small to contain him. Whether he wants to or not, he's stuck being a freak, a Winchester. He belongs to Dean's world. He belongs to Dean.
Only he doesn't. He's made it painfully clear that he doesn't. He belongs to himself, and goddamn him, he's going to take himself away from Dean once again, no matter how tightly Dean grips at him. He'll struggle free once more and leave Dean to whatever fate he chooses.
Damn the fucking selfish bastard. He always left the hard part to Dean.
Four Seasons