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crack_van2011-11-30 09:03 pm
visionshadows.livejournal.com) wrote in crack_van2011-11-30 09:03 pm
Entry tags:
Soldier's Heart by Bandit Queen (NC-17)
Fandom: CWRPS
Pairing: Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles
Length: 42200
Author on LJ:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
bandit_queen_1
Author Website:
Why this must be read: This is a fic about PTSD so be warned. It's PTSD post-Civil War where it is all too common with the returning soldiers who survived. Jensen is one of them, a doctor who couldn't save the boys fighting and it weighs on him. Jared is a younger brother who is set to marry the widow of his older brother because it's the right thing to do even if he really has no desire to do so. Both of them have their secrets, their fears. Both of them need each other without knowing why. It's a wonderful read, very detailed and rich in language.
Jensen leaned against it, and gave himself a few minutes' reprieve from the backbreaking work. Jared had told him he had an errand to take care of and sent him out alone to continue the fence mending. Although he and Jared didn't talk much while they worked, Jensen still found himself missing the man's company. He suspected Jared wasn't normally so quiet, since the young rancher was much more animated around his niece and nephew.
However, Jared's relationship with Sarah was harder to figure out. They were getting married yet they didn't act like a courting couple. He didn't doubt Jared loved his sister-in-law, but it didn't seem like the kind of love a man had for his intended. And why did Jensen care that Jared might be marrying out of a sense of responsibility rather than love? It wasn't any of his business.
Closing his eyes, he breathed deeply of the sage-rich scent on the breeze. Fresh air untainted by blood or putrid weeping wounds or bowels loosened by dysentery. When he'd joined the Army as a doctor, he'd been so confident he could make a difference, but there had been so many...and he'd failed them. He'd let those boys who hadn't even begun to live, to die.
Jensen's lungs felt like he'd breathed in crushed glass and he opened his eyes, surprised to find the land blurry through moisture-laden eyes. He bowed his head and squeezed the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, blinking rapidly to stop the tears before they could escape. His breath was harsh in the silence as he struggled to re-bury the damning memories. It seemed to take longer and longer to regain his composure after the increasingly frequent episodes.
Finally, left with only a lingering sense of melancholia, he straightened and saw a plume of dust growing larger as it neared. Jensen edged closer to his gun belt, which hung from a post and eased the revolver out of the holster. Holding the weapon close to his leg, he hoped he didn't have to use it. But he'd seen too many hard-edged ex-soldiers with no remaining home or family who'd fallen to thieving and worse. And even though Jensen was a doctor, he wouldn't hesitate to defend himself. He still had McKenzie to take care of, whether she wanted his help or not.
Soldier's Heart
Pairing: Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles
Length: 42200
Author on LJ:
bandit_queen_1Author Website:
Why this must be read: This is a fic about PTSD so be warned. It's PTSD post-Civil War where it is all too common with the returning soldiers who survived. Jensen is one of them, a doctor who couldn't save the boys fighting and it weighs on him. Jared is a younger brother who is set to marry the widow of his older brother because it's the right thing to do even if he really has no desire to do so. Both of them have their secrets, their fears. Both of them need each other without knowing why. It's a wonderful read, very detailed and rich in language.
Jensen leaned against it, and gave himself a few minutes' reprieve from the backbreaking work. Jared had told him he had an errand to take care of and sent him out alone to continue the fence mending. Although he and Jared didn't talk much while they worked, Jensen still found himself missing the man's company. He suspected Jared wasn't normally so quiet, since the young rancher was much more animated around his niece and nephew.
However, Jared's relationship with Sarah was harder to figure out. They were getting married yet they didn't act like a courting couple. He didn't doubt Jared loved his sister-in-law, but it didn't seem like the kind of love a man had for his intended. And why did Jensen care that Jared might be marrying out of a sense of responsibility rather than love? It wasn't any of his business.
Closing his eyes, he breathed deeply of the sage-rich scent on the breeze. Fresh air untainted by blood or putrid weeping wounds or bowels loosened by dysentery. When he'd joined the Army as a doctor, he'd been so confident he could make a difference, but there had been so many...and he'd failed them. He'd let those boys who hadn't even begun to live, to die.
Jensen's lungs felt like he'd breathed in crushed glass and he opened his eyes, surprised to find the land blurry through moisture-laden eyes. He bowed his head and squeezed the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, blinking rapidly to stop the tears before they could escape. His breath was harsh in the silence as he struggled to re-bury the damning memories. It seemed to take longer and longer to regain his composure after the increasingly frequent episodes.
Finally, left with only a lingering sense of melancholia, he straightened and saw a plume of dust growing larger as it neared. Jensen edged closer to his gun belt, which hung from a post and eased the revolver out of the holster. Holding the weapon close to his leg, he hoped he didn't have to use it. But he'd seen too many hard-edged ex-soldiers with no remaining home or family who'd fallen to thieving and worse. And even though Jensen was a doctor, he wouldn't hesitate to defend himself. He still had McKenzie to take care of, whether she wanted his help or not.
Soldier's Heart
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This was awesome; now I'm off to tell the author *g*
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